Diary of a Student's Desire
by Yuki Kimagure
Summary: While attending college, Sora becomes secretly infatuated by the seductive and mysterious upperclassman Riku Ackhart who doesn't seem to really notice him. What will happen when Sora finally gains the notorious heartbreaker's attention? RxS YAOI Lemons ah
1. September

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: Wow, I'm really supposed to be studying for my midterm in two days. But instead, I thought of an awesome story idea. This one will yet again be a bit of a lustful one but this time, it will be Sora who is lusting for Riku. It'll be pretty good so you better review! I'm risking my grade for this! Haha!

**Diary of a Student's Desire**

_**September**_

Sora Kraft. That's how my project started. I was asked by my psychologist to write myself a journal of all of the things that I could possibly think of that have gone through my day. She said that she wouldn't even read it if I didn't want her to, I was just supposed to create some kind of log about my thoughts and whatever could be troubling me.

First, I'll start with the reason why I'm actually seeing her in the first place. Since my parents split when I was about eight years old, my mom started having me go to sessions with her so that we could somehow "cope" with what was going on. I really didn't care that my parents stopped loving each other, it was their decision and it wasn't like I was really that attached to Dad anyway.

My mother's shrink was pretty much a quack but she said that he was a genius. All he would do was make me sit there and ask me weird questions like if I ever thought about killing my parents and stuff like that. Hell, I really didn't care, I was only ten years old at that time. Even though I really hated him, my mom insisted that I stayed with this doctor at least until I started my senior year.

Basically, my senior year was the time that I really needed a shrink. With the college applications and all of the end of the year drama that I went through, finding a good psychologist was heaven sent.

So I switched over to a woman called Amber Sweete. She was pretty nice and actually wanted to talk about normal things with me like what movies I might want to go see or what came on TV. It was as if I was going to go visit a friend, a cool aunt I'd really say. But she helped me figure out myself and things that I really didn't know about.

Now I know what you're thinking, "shut up and get to the god stuff" right? Okay I will. I'll start off with the biggest thing that I'm going through right now.

His name is Riku Ackhart.

My infatuation of him started not long after my first few classes at the university. It was during my drawing class and I had finally dragged my big as hell pad of paper into the classroom without killing myself or spilling out my backpack that I stupidly left open. Storming over to a spot in the circular arrangement of tables, I dropped everything onto the counter and sighed, turning off my mp3 player. It was going to be a long day.

I looked up at the time, realizing that I was still a good twenty minutes early so I had plenty of time to take a quick ten minute nap. As I rested my head against my arms, I heard the door opening again next to me, blowing a good gust of chilly air on my already frozen skin. Yeah, I wasn't really all that happy at that point so I looked up to see what kind of person would ruin my perfect nap time.

He was the most gorgeous person that I had ever seen. I watched him as he walked over to the professor who was sitting at a far table, sipping his coffee while looking at a magazine.

"Professor Burnam?" he asked with the soothing voice of an angel. My professor looked up at him and then grinned, setting down the magazine.

"Oh, if it isn't you Riku. What can I help you with?"

The angel that I know knew as Riku grinned back, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I kind of have this project that I need to work on and my professor doesn't have studio hours on the days that I'm off. Is there a way that I could possibly work in here? I mean, it might be during your actual class times but I'll stay in the corner and I won't be messy. It's only chalk pastel," he explained sincerely.

My professor just shrugged as he took a drink of his coffee.

"Sure. I really don't think there'll be any problem of you working in here. If you want, you can even store it in the back room if you want," said my professor, earning a thankful nod from Riku.

After that, I began to see him every time during my classes, every Tuesday and Thursday. Every time it was the same thing, he would walk in with a large sketchpad carrier on his shoulder and he would silently walk into the back room to set up his things. After that, he would occasionally walk out to get something to eat or to smoke outside or even just to sit in a chair and watch us all draw the still life quietly. But every time was pretty much the same thing.

Sometimes, he would walk around the room and look at our drawings, nodding in approval or raising an eyebrow at some of the more "unsuccessful ones." Every time he would slowly approach me, I felt myself heating up in the rather chilly studio, gluing my eyes to the still life while watching him out of the corner of my eye or hurriedly trying to pretend as if I had been working diligently instead of watching him over my drawing board.

However, whenever he looked at my work, he would simply glance over my page and then walk on to the next person, not really giving me any type of real criticism. It always left me feeling frustrated and at times I would change my techniques in hopes of sparking some kind of interest from him. But each time he would just glance over and continue on to the next person.

There was a person though that he seemed to be interested in, well actually their artwork. It was the girl across the room from me, a strawberry blonde with big brown eyes and her hair always pulled up into a bun with chopsticks or two messy pigtails at the neck. She would always look so uninterestedly at the still life from her thick and rectangular black glasses perched on her well shaped nose, seeming as if she really didn't care for art at all whatsoever. But when Riku came by, he took one look at her work and breathed the words "that's really good" from his beautiful lips.

I froze when I saw him talk to her. It seemed as if she was the only one in the whole classroom that moved him to even speak in any way. She simply looked up and smiled bashfully, saying something probably along the lines of "I really didn't try too hard." After he left, then she would start sketching with some kind of new desire to do so.

At first I just let it go, thinking that maybe he only said something cause she made that one good work. If I work harder, maybe he might actually say something to me too. But as hard as I tried to subtly impress him, he never took notice and whenever he walked past her, he would give her an approving pat on the shoulder or some kind of encouragement.

I hated it.

Even more so, I began to hate her. With each time that Riku would complement her on her work, she would slowly start to try harder and made even more phenomenal drawings that I couldn't possibly muster after years of practice. It was as if Riku had helped stir up her natural talent to capture whatever was laid upon the table with an almost surreal realism.

"Another great job Jocelyn. I see a lot of people improving. Good job to all of you," said my professor after about a month into the class. By that time I was furious. I hated seeing her smile as someone would compliment her or when I had to walk past her drawing as our professor wanted us to critique our peers. As I walked past her masterpiece on cheap paper, I wanted to spit on it or take a pencil and make a large dark dash across it to show my appreciation. She made me sick more than anything else.

* * *

A/N: Wow, I think that this has some good potential. Poor Sora, he's almost becoming obsessed with Riku! I feel so bad for making him like this but I know that you all love it. Am I right? Well, I should be able to update this with the next chapter "October" within the week so please review! I really need them so much! Without them, this story will drop. (feels sad about the thought) 


	2. October

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do. Also I don't own Starbucks. I don't know who does though, I guess Starbucks?

A/N: Wow, I actually got reviews for this. I'm glad that a lot of you like this. By the way, if any of you wanna know, I pulled through and did my midterm, I think that I did pretty good so I won't have to freak out when I get my grade back. Okay, this is a really different concept for me. I've never really made any stories where Sora was the first to become attracted to Riku. It kind of throws me off balance. I mean, I'm totally used to thinking of it as if it was the game where Riku is the one who's interested but Sora is too busy chasing after Kairi to notice. Now it's gonna be pretty reverse. Wow, its kind of new so bear with me. I hope you all really liked the last chapter a lot because this next one will be pretty good too. Enjoy!

Answering previous reviews:

**Sai-ryo Aura Feana: **Thank you for reviewing and don't worry, I'll be updating soon, now actually!

**DancingMistress: **I'm glad that you're reviewing this. You're always so nice to my stories.

**Riku's-Kitsune-Mate: **I know, it does suck that Riku doesn't notice Sora at all. I think that we've all gone through that feeling eh? Well, hopefully he'll start to see our hopeful little Sora soon!

**Mercuryrose: **Having Sora obsessed with any of us fangirls (and boys) would be freaking awesome. But I guess it wouldn't work cause he's a bit clueless sometimes. Ah well. I hope that everything with you is going okay in school now. That sucks to practically bomb something. By the way, Riku is a smoker and a very sexy and courteous one at that (unlike some of the people I've been around). I hate when they just smoke right in the middle of lines or exactly in the middle of doorways. Some people just don't want to breathe it! (gets upset) Sorry!

**Losthimagain: **A really upset Sora is just so cute. I felt like hugging him when I was writing this. How could Riku not notice a jealous and pouty guy like him anyway? I'm glad you liked that. It _is_ good for everyone.

**Nhamo: **I portray emotions well? (feels happy) I try really hard! I do! It's hell trying to please you people! Hahahaha! Anyway, I'm just being weird. But I'm glad you enjoy this alot. Things like that make me want to write more.

**Mandeth:** (cries) Why are you so nice to me? I'm glad you like the title though. I sat at my computer for like five minutes trying to figure out what the heck to write and that's just what came out. I thought it was actually kind of corny. But I guess it works right? Hehe. And Riku's character will be awesome in this one. He'll be a bit of a jerk though but that adds to the sexiness right?

**Oro-sama:** Yeah, Sora is so bitter in this one. I feel kind of bad for him. I'm glad you like it so far though.

**Caliban the Wizard: **Sora being psycho, that was something I thought I would never be able to imagine. I mean look at him in the game. Sure he's a bit confused but all in all, he's actually carefree and pure. Hahaha! I guess it works either way though, makes him more interesting.

**Keita: **Don't worry, this should be continued a lot faster than normal. I'm glad you like it.

**Timcanpi:** Thank you about worrying about my grade. I got a 87 and was one of the top ten grades in the class. Crazy huh? Well, I'm not doing that again. And I tried to make Sora have those oh so typical feelings of jealousy and things like that that everyone has gone through. So I'm glad you picked up on that.

**KousukeAsazuki: **Sorry for stopping! I'm so freaking sorry. It's just that I've been so overwhelmed with my damn drawing class and the guy keeps assigning us crap so my creativity is pretty much drained every Tuesday and Thursday when I drag my miserable soul back into my room. Well, thanks for the cookie and I'll come out with more soon! I promise!

**Piggiesofdoom:** I'm so glad how you like how this story is going. I think that people tend to like high school fics more but what the hey right? I'm not in high school anymore so yeah.

**Redchaos: **Yeah you tard, I didn't put chapter two up yet because I just felt retarded okay? You happy? God! Haha! Well, I guess I have to answer your freaking review since you actually gave me one this time on the site so its freaking official now. Well, please enjoy this chapter too. You better! I know where you live! HAHAHA! Just kidding. You know where I live too!

**Ginger Finder:** I'm glad you find this interesting. Hope you enjoy the next chapter too.

**MonsieurJavert:** First of all, I love your pen name. It's from _Les Miserables_ right? Awesome musical! Anyways, back to answering your review. I'm glad Sora's character is well defined. I try really hard and I always feel as if I'm not keeping him to how he is in the game. I mean, I do like the interpretation of him being innocent and stuff like that but in my stories, I try to mix that with how he acts in the game cause he has a pretty tough streak. Eh, I'm rambling.

**Annhiliating Emily: **Okay! I'm writing! Be happy! After you reviewed I realized for the fifteenth time that I need to get this chapter out. After all, it had been done for like two weeks and I was too lazy to put it up. Now I am. So yeah. And I'm a bitch? Awesome! Plus Sora might not beat Jocelyn up but I don't know. He might do something worse. Don't know until I type it. And no, she's not drawing Sora, even though that is a pretty cool idea. I wish I could have thought of it. Ah well.

**Diary of a Student's Desire**

_**October**_

By this time, I have been seeing more and more of Riku even out of the studio. Apparently, with the help of Kairi, I learned that he was a second year student studying Restaurant Management and Culinary Arts. I guessed that he wanted to own his own restaurant one day, one that I knew that I would probably be frequenting.

I wondered what he could possibly like more, being a pastry chef or maybe something more into foreign delicacies. Looking at him while he drank his can of apple juice, I guessed that he would be some kind of master chef cooking delicious seasoned salmons and any kind of seafood like that. It would be something that would melt in your mouth and make you feel like you've never truly enjoyed quality food before that.

But by looking at him he didn't really seem to be the cooking type. Sure, he's probably made spaghetti once in his life like most other people but I never thought that he would be the kind of person at a specialty market buying exotic and rare spices from India or Thailand. Hell, the most exotic spice that I had ever laid hands on was saffron and that I picked up at the local grocery store.

Closing my eyes, I imagined him with a tube of some kind of fishy paste and squeezing them over some kind of hors d'oeuvres. Or maybe even tossing white chocolate shavings onto a decadent devil's food cake. He could even be spreading the seasonings onto a perfect piece of salmon, taking care to make sure it has the correct amount rubbed in.

While I was happily daydreaming, I received a gentle tapping on my shoulder. I turned to the person with an initial frown, wondering who in their right mind could be interrupting me during such a wonderful daydream. He was about to feed me his latest dish!

"Try not to fall asleep next time," said the voice of an angel with a raised eyebrow as he walked off to see some more artwork. I froze in my chair as I watched him move around the room as if he didn't throw my life off axis. He had talked to me. Riku had talked to _me_!

I smiled as I looked over to Jocelyn across the room who was diligently working on her drawing. Riku had talked to me and didn't say anything to you at all! At that moment, if it wasn't for the fact that I was in the middle of class and for Riku being there, I would have jumped on the tables and did a dance for everyone to see. It really made my day, and all because I _wasn't _doing what I was supposed to do!

After that, I didn't care that Jocelyn was getting complements from him or that he yet again didn't say anything to my work. He had actually talked to me and I knew that in some small way, his attention was focused entirely on me for that split second and that made all of the difference in the world.

October is really a dull month for me. It's the month that you actually start to feel as if you're getting the hang of the class and that it's going to go on forever. And the weather starts getting cold and the music starts to really lack and suck. Yeah, I went through all of this in this really boring and annoying month. However, I did get to see Riku a bit more.

Actually, it's all really because of Kairi. The deal with her is that we used to date for a while. I mean, we were childhood friends since forever so it was a bit obvious that we might start to like each other. But after a while, when I was still dating her, I started to wonder about myself and my own interests.

Sometimes I'd go with her to stupid chick flicks and I'd actually start checking out the guys in the movie. At first I just laughed it off, thinking that I was just being weird and having what the Health teachers always call a "healthy curiosity."

So I just ignored it for a while and kept thinking that maybe it might just go away and that I might get normal again. However, it just kept happening and I slowly started to catch my eyes lingering on other guys or getting really flustered whenever I would talk to anyone reasonably attractive. It was hard to even look at my best friend Tidus without turning red and getting all shaky. And it all made gym class even worse. Sometimes I would just pretend that I was sick or even just ditch to not have to deal with so many guys getting halfway naked around me.

My psychiatrist Amber helped me understand what I was going through. I was officially, well, in my mind, bisexual. Yeah, I know that I still like women, after all, I still stayed attracted to Kairi. But I just had to add another population of people to my dating possibilities now.

The first person I told was Kairi cause, well, she was my girlfriend after all and I had to break up with her since I realized why things weren't working as they used to. Also, she was a girl and it would be a lot easier to tell her than someone like Tidus anyway.

She was very open about it and even liked the fact that I had stopped seriously liking her.

"You're my best friend and almost like a brother anyway! Now we can go guy searching together!" she cheered as she hugged me, throwing me completely off. I thought that she would at least get a little upset about it, after all, I was her _boyfriend_ and previously _straight_. But I was really glad that she just listened to me and understood me, not making a big deal about it. It seemed as if she was relieved that I wanted to break up with her but I just ignored that thought.

So, right now, Kairi and Amber are the only people that know. Then I told Kairi about Riku and I swear that I could see the evil glint in her eyes, basically meaning that she was thinking up something. Ever since then, it's been her mission to get me together with him though I kept trying to tell her that I really don't care that much. If he just noticed me every now and then, I would be okay. But looking over my last journal entry, I'm starting to see that it isn't really that easy, at least in my mind.

"Sora, don't you want to finally go out with a guy and prove to the world that you're not hiding yourself?" she said as she sat with me in my dorm room as we watched TV. I just shrugged.

"I guess it would be nice to see what it's like but you don't have to threaten him," I said, earning a angry glare from her. "But I guess if you help it won't be that bad!" I continue, waving my hands in defeat.

She grinned and leaned against the wall, that familiar glint back in her eyes. "Don't worry. I don't care if I have your approval or not. Before the quarter's over, I'm gonna have him so interested in you that you'll need to bat him off with a stick."

I just shrugged and ate some more of the chips. Basically, when it comes to Kairi, its best if you just nod your head and agree with whatever she says or something bad happens to you. Sadly enough, it took me way too long for me to finally figure that out.

"Don't try too hard, I don't want you to make him think that I'm some kind of a sick freak."

At this, Kairi sat up, putting her hands on her hips with a pout. "Come on Sora, you're acting like you _don't_ want to fuck him."

Choking on some of the chips, I bent over, red in the face from coughing but mostly from the embarrassment. What the hell was she thinking?

"Kairi!"

"Oh wait, I think you'd be the kind of person who'd like to be on the bottom anyway."

"KAIRI!"

She stood up and smoothed out her skirt while rolling her eyes.

"God Sora, you're so naïve sometimes. I mean have you _really_ looked at him?"

"Yeah, of course I have," I mumbled as I tried to make the redness on my face go away. This whole conversation was getting more embarrassing by the minute. But that was Kairi in a nutshell, being the only girl in a house of three older brothers and growing up with boys her whole life, she never really inherited the feminine quality of prudence.

"With a body like that and the attitude to match he's only into one thing."

I pout at her, trying to defend him. "Riku's not like that. He's probably very misunderstood."

"Oh yeah, deep down he's really a lamb that likes to read poetry and take meaningful walks on the beach," she said with a sarcastic laugh. "But I guess naïveté is your strong point here. I mean what seductive heartbreaker like that _wouldn't_ like to have some fresh and untouched game like you huh?"

I just glared at her. Riku wasn't like that. Sure, he seemed to leak pheromones like a garden hose and I _was_ definitely picking up on them but he couldn't be so completely like that right?

"Look Sora, I'm gonna help you get with this guy but in order to do so you'll have to face reality. This guy is just going to want you to put out like a prostitute before rent. I don't want you to get hurt okay? I'm just trying to warn you before you get too deep," she said with a concerned expression as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

At that time, I remembered how much Kairi really cared about me. It had been the both of us against the world since day one and we've gone through so many things together. We've protected each other and, at least for Kairi, we've gotten into fights for each other too.

--

Thursday's class was like hell. Our professor decided to give us all a wonderful little break and not have us draw a still life for the session. Of course, to the average person it would be heaven sent right? I mean after all, who can keep their sanity from drawing the same damn things every single day in different little positions?

We were supposed to have a model instead so we could just dabble a little in life drawing before we take the actual class next quarter.

"Just get yourselves ready while the model is coming in," said the professor as he walked over to the door.

The class all gave sighs and cheers of relief and I was a bit happy too. I felt like I was gonna kill myself if I had to draw one more damn plastic tomato. I opened a fresh sheet of sketch paper and made sure my pencil was good and sharpened so that I wouldn't have to be the only retard shuffling his stuff in the middle of the exercise.

So I sat at my desk, ready to start and I scanned my eyes over to where the professor was at. He was at the door, talking to someone, asking them if they minded to be the model for today. I couldn't really hear their reply but I could tell it was a man. Oh great, hopefully it wasn't someone too attractive. I didn't want to have to walk out holding my sketchbook over my crotch.

But Fate had different plans for me. My professor walked in with none other than Riku himself, carrying some of his things for his artwork and a cup of Starbucks. I then felt a sinking feeling surge through me. 'Oh God, I was supposed to spend three hours doing nothing but drawing Riku!'

At that moment I wanted to fake some kind of crazy sickness so that I could skip class. But I couldn't really pull it off without Riku noticing and getting suspicious. So I was stuck in that rapidly sweltering studio, feeling more claustrophobic than I'd ever been in my life.

"Okay everyone, Riku will be our model today so make sure you're ready and maybe even thinking of what you might want to do."

The classroom buzzed as I tried to hide my completely drained face. While he was putting his stuff away and drinking down the last of whatever good coffee blend that he could have been enjoying, I closed my eyes, trying to focus on trying to act like a normal student. But what does a normal student do when they are basically asked to look over each piece of their crush's body, _every_ single part!

'Oh God this can't be good,' I thought as I watched him walk over to the professor, asking what to do.

"Oh just get up on the table, you won't fall," said my professor as he walked over to grab a chair. Passing it to Riku who had expertly jumped onto the table, he turned to address the class. "Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?"

"Can he get naked?" asked one of the more whorish looking girls, her friend giggling embarrassedly and shoving her playfully. The professor raised an eyebrow at this while I just buried my face in my hands, trying to get the images out of my head.

"Only in private sessions, if you're interested." I felt my jaw drop. Did Riku just say that? He smirked seductively at her and then sat down in the chair, turning his attention back to the instructor who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

After he received his instruction, he took a deep breath and sat back into the chair, folding his arms while casually resting his head to the side against his shoulder.

We had to draw that pose for about an hour and I was surprised about how well Riku was able to stay that way. He didn't move or even flinch the whole time. The only movement that I ever saw from him was blinking and even that was not too often.

I soon was wrapped up into my drawing. Yes, it was awkward to have to scan my eyes along his body and I _did_ feel like I was simply objectifying him or something like that but I just swallowed it all in and did my work. However, the longer the time went on, my lines soon began to become more controlled and careful. In actuality, I enjoyed drawing people more than objects. After all, there were so many poses that a person could do and not every one was the same as the last.

"Okay, hold up your drawings and look around."

Riku sighed and stretched, running a hand through his gorgeous hair. Even when he was just doing that he seemed to look godly. I blushed at that, trying to look at everyone else's work.

Some were alright and some were just, let's say embarrassing. I looked over to Jocelyn and yet again she made another replication of exactly what she saw. Riku gave hers an approving nod as he looked at the others. Yet again she was getting his attention, and I tried so hard too.

"Wow, great job!" said my professor, shocking me back into reality. Wait, he said that mine was actually good? I mean it looks like him but the other girl's work is _way _better!

The professor walked over towards me and looked mine over in approval. "This is a great example of good line quality. The varying of line weight makes the subject appear more 3-D than the same mundane lines. And the close attention to detail is great too."

I felt my face heating up as everyone in the class focused their eyes on me, even Riku. "It's not that good. It's not even exact."

"Even so, the way you made this touched more of the emotion of the figure than simply duplicating it from your eyes. It brings the viewer in, don't you think?" asked my professor, looking over to Riku to add something.

He looked it over and shrugged, nodding a little. "Yeah, I can see that."

At this, the professor shook his head with a sigh. "Forget I even asked. But it's really good, keep up the good work and you'll pass with flying colors."

--

"He did what?"

That was the first thing Kairi had said when I told her about the whole thing in my drawing class. Personally, I thought the height of the experience was that I was able to look at Riku and not worry about him getting upset.

"He actually complimented me on something. It was awesome!" I replied as I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes with a dreamy smile. Yeah, I was a bit weird then. But Kairi didn't really see the positive of anything.

"That's not a compliment Sora. He just said it because the professor asked him to say something."

"That's not true, Riku wouldn't do that!" I said, defending him yet again. It always seemed that whenever we had a conversation about Riku, I was always defending him somehow.

Kairi folded her arms and sighed, shaking her head. "Well Mr.-I'm-positive-that-he's-a-good-guy, what did he do about that one girl?"

"He did the same thing, smile and nod as usual."

"And how did her's look?"

"Perfect…" I sighed, pouting yet again. Kairi jumped from the bed and put her hands on her hips, facing away from me.

"You know what, you will just have to face the facts that maybe Riku is complimenting her so much because he wants to have sex with her," she said, making me sputter up and blush dramatically.

"Kairi!"

"Well it's true Sora, what kind of guy goes out of his way to compliment the same person and no one else unless he wants to fuck her?"

"Well you don't have to be so… crude about it!"

"Just watch, by next week they'll be all over each other."

And sure enough she was right. Two sessions later they were giving each other lingering glances and Jocelyn was smiling more than ever. I just kept my eyes to the still life, trying not to be such a wuss and cry all over my paper in the middle of class. I hated it so much to see him constantly walking his way over and even pulling a seat next to her so he could watch her draw with his arm around her waist.

For the last hour of class I didn't do anything, I just stared blankly at my drawing. Why couldn't I have just done something more amazing or something like that so he could have noticed me instead of her? Or I could have just confessed my feelings to him and at least not feel that I was just some other person in the class to him, another guy who does nothing but do his work.

I know its wrong but even more so I hated her. I hated that girl for being so whatever she was to catch Riku's eye. She was a girl first of all, and she was so good at drawing, she even had a sense of style that made her look so interesting, like she couldn't be put into any kind of category. She was too perfect from her silky blonde hair to the way she would inspect each piece she was to draw.

Only recently did I realize that my thoughts on Riku became a bit bizarre. Not really but unhealthy enough to be considered so. Whenever I saw him walking down the lawn or sitting in the café, I began to know his daily routine. I even knew what cigarettes he smoked and could recite exactly what he wore the past few weeks. Its bad, I know it is, especially when I even try to listen in to hear who he's talking to on his cell phone sometimes. Maybe I should talk to Kairi about it, or Amber? Maybe they might help me.

* * *

A/N: Wow, I made Sora a bit scary in this chapter. And yet again, he concludes that he hates the girl even more than ever. I'm just so mean to him! And Riku is totally oblivious. Ah well. I hope that you liked this one and at least there was a _little_ bit of an interaction with Riku so I gave you a bit of something! Well, please review! I love your reviews so much! Until the next chapter! 


	3. November

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do. Also I don't own Starbucks. I don't know who does though, I guess Starbucks?

A/N: Wow, I actually got reviews for this. I'm glad that a lot of you like this. By the way, if any of you wanna know, I pulled through and did my midterm, and I got an 87 on it! Number thirteen in a one hundred and fifteen class! I rock! Well, that was a long time ago and I passed all of my classes and started a new quarter so wish me luck!

Okay, this is a really different concept for me. I've never really made any stories where Sora was the first to become attracted to Riku. It kind of throws me off balance. I mean, I'm totally used to thinking of it as if it was the game where Riku is the one who's interested but Sora is too busy chasing after Kairi to notice. Now it's gonna be pretty reverse. Wow, it's kind of new so bear with me. I hope you all really liked the last chapter a lot because this next one will be pretty good too. Enjoy!

**Diary of a Student's Desire**

_**November**_

It was until the end of this month that I actually had something to talk about. Everyday was the same. I walked to class and saw Riku all over his girlfriend. I sat in my drawing class and Riku would cuddle with his girlfriend the whole time. I leave class and Riku takes his girlfriend to the back room to do only God knows what. That was my same miserable routine every Tuesday and Thursday, give or take a few things.

However, I'd have to say on the twenty-eighth, the day that everyone was settled back into the dorms after a pretty good Thanksgiving break, Kairi bust into my room with one of her new friends.

"Come on Sora! We're pulling you out!" she cheered while she raided my closet.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing!

"We're taking you out of course!" she replied, tossing a shirt over her head in disgust. "Honestly, you have to shop for better clothes!"

My poor roommate just watched confusedly as she tore through my things while the brunette behind her just folded her arms, waiting impatiently while looking around the room. If I didn't know any better, which I probably don't, I would think that she would be sizing me up or something. Who the hell was she anyway?

"Kairi stop it! What the hell do you thing you're doing?" I asked for the second time, this time successfully pulling her away from my underwear drawer before she went through that as well.

Kairi just huffed and put her hands on her hips while glaring up at me. I know what this means, something I won't like.

"You know that club on the other side of town?" she asked, wiping one of her bright red bangs from her face with a wicked grin.

"Oh no, you don't mean Club Violet do you? That's a strictly VIP one and the lines are so long if you aren't that it's not worth going Kairi!" I whined.

Club Violet is the hottest club in this city, one that models and rich kids go to. Basically, if you have a picture of yourself in some kind of magazine or are related to someone in the top one hundred richest people in the country, then you have full rights to just walk in. So it's basically a pretty awesome place.

Kairi nodded and giggled, sparkles flying in through her amethyst eyes. "Yes! I've got Beatrix here to help us get in 'cause she's such a wonderful person _and_ Riku's friend."

My jaw dropped. "Wait, _Riku_ is gonna be there? There, at Club Violet."

"Well duh! Why else would I drag you out of your room and even take the liberty of driving you to go shopping!"

"We're gonna go… _shopping_?" I gulped, not wanting it to be true. Whenever Kairi and I went shopping it was havoc. She'd either spend most of her time piling loads upon loads of clothes on me or make me… hold her purse. God that was horrible. There is no way that a guy could be seen as manly by his _peers_ holding a purse outside of a women's dressing room and a pink one at that! And she takes hours to put a damn shirt on!

Kairi raised an eyebrow, looking at me skeptically. "What's so wrong with that? We're gonna be shopping for you anyway so there should be no big deal."

Too bad it was a big deal. And standing in a freakishly long dressing stall painted blood red, wearing something that I'd imagine a man whore to wear, I almost cried at my reflection. So this was where my life has gone? I have a small harmless crush on a guy, my first and hopefully last one, and I have to come out looking like a two cent man hooker?

"I'm not coming out! I'd rather die than wear this shit!" I yell miserably, pouting sadly.

"Oh come on Sora! If you don't like it, I have something else that you might like more," reasoned Kairi like a mother who was coaxing her child during back-to-school shopping. I didn't care, I was miserable.

"Fine," I sigh, walking out of the door into the overly gothic store.

"Oh my God! You look _so_ fuckable!" screeched Kairi, thoroughly embarrassing me even more.

Looking over myself in the mirror, I shrugged, I guess I didn't look _that_ bad. I mean, I guess it must have been because I'm not used to wearing something so… skin tight and revealing?

To put it basically, I was wearing some kind of black long sleeve fishnet top under a tight black shirt with some kind of glowing blue heart insignia on it. Then I was wearing what had to be a slightly tight pair of leather pants that left only a bit to the imagination. But it basically made my ass look as if someone should just grab it. That'll take me a while to get used to. I never realized that it was there, let alone looking pretty good. I mean come on! I only used it for sitting and number two. I'm still a guy you know!

"What do you think Beatrix? Yea or nay?" asked Kairi, a satisfied smile on her lips.

The ravishing brunette smirked, her silky brown curls bobbing at the end of her hair as she nodded. "He's definitely gonna like this now. I don't even think you'll need my help in getting _his_ attention," she joked with her clipped but seductive voice.

Looking at her, I could really see why Riku would be friends with her. She seemed like him, a unique and sensual voice, alluring eyes, and a curvy body wearing a torn jean mini skirt, dusty rose hose, black ankle boots, and a black over the shoulder top. Her hair was perfect and looked like those models you see on those herbal shampoo commercials with tight curls at the end of her locks.

"Come on Sora! Stop daydreaming! Change back so we can buy these!" exclaimed Kairi as she shoved me back into the red room.

We bought the stuff and then sat in the car for an hour while Kairi pinned me down in the back seat, sitting on my stomach while she forced eyeliner on me.

"Come on Sora! Hold still! It'll make your eyes look even hotter than they are, trust me," was all she said as I feared for my damn eyes.

The rest of it was just boring so we can skip it to the good parts.

Walking into the club was like nothing I'd seen before. With Beatrix's help we got in as soon as we walked up to the door, making me feel bad for the long line of people freezing outside while trying to beg the bouncers to let them in. They scowled at us angrily as we walked in but for that moment, I didn't care, I was still at that moment trying to get over the fact that I was walking in these really awesome black boots with belts all over them, but that was beside the point.

We went through a curtain and then were welcomed with the loud boom of dance music as bright purple lights flashed over the otherwise dark room. And the room was huge at that. I had to keep myself from looking in awe as my eyes scanned the whole area. It looked like a renovated warehouse with people dancing on the bottom floor while there were tables all along the top stairway.

"Riku should be on the floor right now! I'll call you on my cell if I reach him!" yelled Beatrix over the music before she walked her way over to the stairway, probably to meet up with the rest of the people in her group.

Kairi turned to me and grinned. "Do you see all of the people looking at you? They're practically drooling!" she said into my ear while nodding her head in the direction of a group of very intimidating guys. Sure enough, they _were_ drooling, if you could use that word. I'd say more on the lines of lustfully stripping me of the already revealing clothing I was wearing. It was all just creepy and I pulled Kairi over to the side, away from them as their eyes watched me.

"This is way too creepy. I think we should go before I get raped by someone," I asked, earning a shake of the head.

"At least let's dance a little! We came here for Riku you know!"

I mentally slapped myself as I sighed in frustration. This will be the last time that I _ever_ tell Kairi who I crush on now. I mean seriously. If I would have known that she'd get like this I would have just kept the whole thing to myself. But she _is_ getting me that much closer to Riku and I got some new clothes in the process. Sure, there can be a few pluses in this thing.

Slowly Kairi led me to the large orgy of movement on the dance floor. It was packed and I could feel the body heat radiating from everyone as Kairi and I found a spot inside of it. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath as I wrapped my arms lightly around her waist as I pulled her body flush against mine, dancing like we did when we dated in high school.

Everyone around us was either making out drunkenly or grinding against each other, keeping their eyes closed as they enjoyed each rubbing sensation on their skin. A couple in front of us was being joined by another man, moving behind the woman while she was enjoying kisses along her neck from the man she originally was dancing with.

"Pretty intense huh?" asked Kairi as she grinned up at me, not fazed at all by the dancing around us. "It'll probably only be on this song. The next song will be probably more of a dance one."

Nodding dumbly, I hoped so. Watching all of the people around me was starting to affect my body in a way that I knew Kairi would tease me about once she notices.

Looking to the left, I see none other than Riku dancing heatedly with Beatrix. The matter however confused me. Where was Jocelyn? Did she not go with him? What if he broke up with her? What then? Would Riku be open game?

I couldn't keep my eyes off of them, no matter how hard I tried. The way they fluidly moved against each other, his hips seductively brushing hers, made me wish so much that I was in her place. She suggestively replied by tracing one of her thighs along his leg and up to rest against his hip as he pulled her up closer to him, holding her leg there with a hand right under her knee, burying his face into her neck.

"Sora? What are you looking at?" asked Kairi as she tried to cock her head to the side to see what was going on. I just ignored her and focused my time on dancing with her, trying not to get too upset at what they were doing. They were all over each other, him and _Beatrix_! She was supposed to be helping me get to him, not hogging him off to herself!

Looking back up again, I noticed her whispering something into his ear with a chuckle, looking over at me while doing so. What was she doing now?

oO0Oo

I sat down at the bar, closing my eyes as I took another sip of my bright blue drink. Everything about it all was confusing me. I mean, first I was there with Kairi, dancing with her and having a pretty good time and before you know it, Riku came out! And, to even make it better, he walks over to me and asks if I wanted to dance!

With me being the idiot that I am, I turned red as a cherry and shoved my way over to the bar. It took a while for Kairi to find me, frowning as she placed her hands on her hips.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I'm hiding, what do you _think_ I'm doing?" I replied, not wanting to argue with her. She was being unreasonable for yelling at me like this. Any _normal_ person would probably wet themselves if they were greeted by a man who radiated pure sexual energy. And then asked to _dance_ with them? Who the hell could deal with that!

She just huffed and sat down on the stool next to me, the glitter on her shoulders dazzling me for a moment. "You know you might have missed the chance of a lifetime? You came here, dressed in brand new clothes and made up _just_ so you could run away because you are scared?"

I frowned, finishing off my drink, feeling the buzz kick in a little. I really shouldn't be feeling guilty but I was. More regretful than anything. Maybe she was right? Maybe I might be missing out on some _grand_ thing because I didn't go and dance with him. I'm just sitting here now, getting ready to order another drink with only my childhood friend and feeling miserable about myself.

But then again, it might have been the alcohol talking. I did have two before the one I just finished off.

Before I could ask for another one, I was greeted with a bright highlighter yellow one, a glow stick of the same color sitting in the side of it to give a beautiful glowing color.

"Wait! I didn't order this one," I told the bartender, not wanting to pay for something I didn't ask for. He just smiled and pointed to the other side of the bar.

"It's from that nice gentleman over there."

I turned my eyes over to the direction he was pointing at, frowning a little. It wasn't Riku, just another hot guy, his black hair silky smooth looking and pulled back into a short ponytail, grinning at me with bright green eyes and a wink.

Blushing, I hurriedly turn back to the drink. So what if I probably screwed it all up with Riku? There was another guy here that I could possibly take a short interest in. After all, it _was_ a club after all and people normally got together right?

I didn't really know what came over me as I picked up my drink and walked over towards the man, Kairi squeaking shortly in protest before probably understanding what was going on. Good, at least _one_ person did.

The man looked at me seductively before gesturing at the stool next to me. My hands were shaking the whole time, it was hard to even get the drink down my throat without dropping it or spilling it all over the counter but it tasted good. It was like some kind of tropical acid in my mouth, if you could describe it like that. Heck, I don't even know what I was drinking after I was finished with it.

He ordered me another one and I smiled at my new glass of glowing yellow heaven. If drinking was ever this good, I would have never been grossed out by it. Probably cause my first drinking experience was with beer that Tidus had snuck from his dad's fridge. Why am I thinking of this again?

We danced for a bit and I simply flowed with him, enjoying the feeling of someone holding me close to them, feeling secure on my tingling legs. If it wasn't for his arms around my waist, I probably would have fallen straight to the floor. I giggled at the thought and bob my head to the side, watching him from under my lashes.

"You're cute," I managed to slur out, earning a chuckle and some kind of reply. But there's know way that I could have remembered what he said, I'm surprised I even remembered myself saying _that_!

We simply stayed there, slowly swaying from side to side as we kissed. Actually it was more of a sloppy make out scene, frantic and tired at the same time. It all felt wonderful though, with him being the first man that I ever was able to openly kiss. Yeah, without a single doubt I knew then that I loved men. Everything about him, the way his tongue dominated yet soothed me, how his hands pressed me closer into the warmth of his hard body, everything reinforced that fact.

It seemed like we were there for hours thought it had only been through two songs before we parted, the new taste of hard liquor and cinnamon teasing my senses. Everything felt warm and wonderful as I giggled, placing my forehead onto his shoulder.

As soon as I was about to close my eyes I felt a sudden shift as the warmth started to leave me. It scared me. Where did my warm man go?

I looked up in confusion, wondering what had happened to make him leave me. And Riku simply smiled, pulling me over towards him. What was going on? Why was he here?

The other man slowly made his way out of the crowd, my eyes watching him sadly before turning my attention back to my new pursuer.

"Hey baby," I heard him whisper into my ear, over the loud and pulsating music that I was once swaying to with tall, dark, and handsome. But the sight of Riku there, his arm wrapped firmly around my waist while his other hand gently supporting my back, I felt as if I could fall all over again.

"Easy there, don't want to hurt yourself," says Riku as he prevented me from crashing into the floor, a grin across his beautiful features. Was I falling just then? Was that what was happening? I couldn't tell what was going on, only that I was held against the one person I came to this club for, feeling his strong hips moving fluidly against mine, trying to get me to grind against him ever so lightly.

Dancing like that for a few more songs, I smiled drunkenly as I buried my face into his neck, smelling his cologne and the faint scent of other women's perfumes, probably from the other girls he danced with. They all smelled so sweet and delicious that I started to wonder how those scents tasted like, nuzzling him and brushing my lips across the skin. Hearing a slow moan rumble in his throat, I blushed, wondering what I was doing. Here I was, intoxicated and moving against the man of almost everyone's dreams and I was practically necking him!

'Change that, I _am_ necking him.' I don't know when I started to but the taste of his warm skin, soft and so sensual, I couldn't keep myself from wanting more of it, sucking and licking his smooth skin until it was well and red.

He chuckled as he moved away from me for a second, grinning at me in all of his seductive glory. "You're _very_ cute." I could guess that he had a bit to drink as well from the light slur in the "very" of the sentence. But he keeps his cool seductive self as usual, probably being even _more_ forward than normal, not like I'd _really_ know or care.

The music pounded into my now violated ears, dizzying me and filling me with a sense of urgency. I don't know why but everything about me seemed as if it were pulsating itself, moving in some kind of sexual encouragement.

His lips took mine, not bothering to start as a few chaste kisses. We gave each other hot open mouthed kisses, our tongues working in fervor to feel and tantalize every inch of our mouths, our breaths puffing into each other. Yet again I was pulled into a strong, firm, and warm body, making me blush as I felt _everything_. And from the clothes that I'm wearing, he could probably feel everything on me as well.

A hand grips my ass, using it to press my hips flush against his as his other hand tangles into my hair, his lips tracing a hot trail down the side of my face and to the crook of my neck. Arching my neck, I sigh in utter bliss, feeling the colors and the purple main lights swirl and weave around in my head. Everything was spinning all over again as I felt his lips claim mine again, tasting me ever so beautifully.

Breaking away, I placed my hand onto my forehead, trying to stop the spinning and quaking of my eyesight. All of the people around me were getting distorted and it was getting harder to breathe.

"Oh God," I whimpered, feeling the music start to slow down in my head. Riku looked at me with concern before he grabs onto me, probably because I was starting to fall again. I couldn't tell. All I know is that it all seemed so surreal around me, that everything was starting to seem so menacing, like being on a rollercoaster and having your eyes closed while doing a backwards flip.

"Come on, stay with me," he said as he gently guided me out of the crowd and towards the lounges, placing me on a chair next to a frisky couple. I really didn't care, all I knew was that I needed to sit down before I fully collapsed. I heard him start to talk heatedly with someone before I just closed my eyes, hoping that it all would somehow be alright.

oO0Oo

Going to class that next week was the hardest thing to do. What if Riku was there? What would I say? 'Hey, it was nice dancing with you and sorry that your girlfriend got pissed?' Seriously, I didn't know what to say. I really _didn't _think that they were still together; after all, he was dancing with Beatrix like he wasn't.

I wasn't told anything about what happened after I blacked out until Kairi told me, second hand from Beatrix's account. Supposedly his girlfriend had been watching us on the dance floor and decided to give him a piece of her mind as he was trying to get my almost unconscious body to the couches. They had their little argument and he went and got Beatrix to get me home. She ended up getting Kairi and I woke up in Kairi's dorm the next morning with a mind splitting headache.

Opening the door, I see Jocelyn in her same spot, glaring at me as I came in like I had shot her mother or something. But me, being the person I was, I just smiled weakly and ushered myself to my chair, dropping my pencils all over the floor.

'Why me?' I thought with a sigh as I reluctantly kneeled down onto the hard art room floor, trying to get them all into the little pouch that I was stupid enough not to zip. Luckily, however, I was the only one that was there in the room, other than Jocelyn so I could at least keep _some_ of my dignity.

As I got what I thought was the last few, I counted them out, trying to see if I missed any. "Hey, what are you doing under there?" I heard none other than Riku himself say teasingly.

'Just don't do anything stupid Sora. Don't embarrass yourself.'

"Huh? Whoa!" And then I embarrassed myself, clumsily falling back onto my butt as one of my missing pencils slid under my foot. The stool scooted back loudly and then "luckily" fell right over my stomach, pinning me down as I looked up at him stupidly from under the desk with a stool over me and half of my pencils again running freely across the floor.

"Owww," I whined. Yeah, its times like this when anyone would want to cry. Heck, I _would_ have if I wasn't so confused at his sudden burst of laughter. What was so funny about it? I almost _killed_ myself with a stool and a handful of pencils and he thinks it's hilarious?

"That was classic, are you always this funny?" he asked as he pulled the chair off of me while helping me up.

Brushing myself off, I just sighed. "Glad it amused you," I pouted, making him flash a perfect grin at me. "Oh, what now?"

"What you just did, it was cute."

I pouted, not wanting him to see me blushing like an idiot. "There, you did it again," he said, making me redden even more. I could feel an intense glare from across the room that sent chills down my spine. I almost forgot that she was there.

"Oh um, I need to get these pencils up before everyone else comes and creates a disaster," I said jokingly as I got back down on my knees to collect the little sticks of evil.

"Hey, I'll help. Don't want you to kill yourself again," he replied as he kneeled down. Wait, if he helps me then his girlfriend will get even more pissed at me than she already is!

"No! I mean, no, I'm fine. You should probably hang out with your girlfriend. She's looking a little upset," I say, trying to persuade him to go. Though I did like him, I didn't want to come between him and another person, that's just not the type of person I am. However, with Riku insisting on helping me, I think that his girlfriend might already be thinking that I _was_ some kind of man stealer.

As he gently handed them to me, he let his hand linger over mine teasingly before slowly retreating to his hip. "Try not to drop them next time," he said with a wink before making his way over to Jocelyn. Even when he sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, she still was upset, swatting him away with an unhappy glare.

"Damn, no need to be a bitch," I heard Riku mutter as he brashly scooted out of the stool, sauntering over to the back room with a huff.

The rest of the students came in and class began finally. Yet again, we had to draw the same little objects in different positions but this time I didn't care. I needed something to get my mind off of Saturday night and basically Riku in general. But every time I was staring at the objects, my mind would wander back to when he was behind me on the dance floor, holding me close to him and burying his face into my neck as we slowly moved against each other. The way his hands slid down my arms and then took hold of my hands, guiding them over his shoulders, pressing his body against mine…

'Oh crap,' I thought as I noticed a pair of intense wood-colored eyes focused in my direction. Did she know that I was thinking about Riku? Just look down Sora and focus on your work!

Sheepishly looking back at the objects I was drawing, I notice Jocelyn's gaze slightly shift to the left. Maybe she wasn't looking at me after all? It might have been the bone that she was drawing. That has to be it. No need to worry about that.

Another hour passed by and I kept drawing, it was actually coming out really good. I knew I shouldn't have thought about it but my day was actually getting off without any more things happening, for once.

Then Riku came.

I couldn't keep myself focused, dazedly watching him out of the corner of my eye as he walked out of the back room and threw his cup of Starbucks into the trash before stretching tiredly and gracefully. I didn't even notice that I was drawing off of the page as I felt my eyes become glued to the sight of his muscles tensing and loosening up in an almost sinful way.

The only thing that kept me from watching even more was the obvious cough from the other side of the room. Blushing, I saw Jocelyn glare at me icily as she basically communicated to me 'come near him again and die.'

So he just walked out, probably to smoke or something while I returned to drawing in humiliation. Here I was, openly checking Riku out when his girlfriend is only across the room! Why am I such an idiot? I simply have the best luck. The one guy I really want and he's taken by the girl that wouldn't mind openly chewing me out.

Sighing, I just focused on the assignment, trying to erase the stupid stray lines I had made earlier. Why me?

"Hey."

I almost jumped out of the stool when I heard him. It was low, almost a purr into my left ear, catching me off guard and making me rub my eraser over some of my good lines accidentally.

"God, you scared the shit out of me," I whisper, trying to compose myself. It was only Riku behind me, whispering into my ear, giving me all of his attention. What was I to get so jittery about right?

I'm being sarcastic.

Looking over my shoulder, he gave me an approving nod, placing his hands onto his hips. "It looks good. You just erased some of the good lines though," he commented, raising an eyebrow. "What was up with that?"

"Well if you didn't sneak up on me like that they would have stayed there."

He chuckled, patting me on the back. "You're pretty funny birthday boy," he whispered, making me blush lightly.

"You still… _remember_ that?" I asked sheepishly, not wanting it to be true. After all, he had made it up the lie that it was my birthday that night so that his girlfriend wouldn't be even more pissed than she already was. But he seriously remembered what I looked like? What we did?

Shrugging, he placed his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, it _was_ a good dance after all," he said, making me blush even more. Okay, thank God that everyone was too busy paying attention to plastic fruit and bottles to notice me blushing like an idiot. If they only looked then the whole class and eventually the _university_ would know that I was openly falling over Riku.

"You act as though you weren't as into it as I was," he whispered soothingly into my ear. Every word he said smelled like hot coffee and warm caramel, making me just want to eat each one. Everything about him was just so delicious, so smooth and enticing.

Unluckily, other parts of my anatomy were reacting as well, making me bite the bottom of my lip. Hopefully he won't notice. My drawing board is covering it anyway.

Awkwardly looking over to Jocelyn, she was glaring at me yet again, fury in her eyes as she kept her gaze straight at me. Shit.

"Um… Riku? I think your girlfriend isn't happy about you being around me," quietly say, trying to get him to notice that talking to me with her around isn't a very good idea.

"Oh really?" he asks amusingly, shifting his eyes up to her with a sly smirk. She just looked at him in a shocked expression and then shifted her anger towards him. "Eh, don't worry about her, she's just PMS-ing or something like that. Okay?"

As he said that, I could feel his hand slowly creep along my side, tracing hotly down my leg and lingering near my inner thigh. My mind just went blank as I stared at no particular object on the table, slightly wishing that no one was there so he could continue and not just tease me like he was. Hearing the smooth caramel coated chuckle float into my right ear, I lowly whimpered, quiet enough that luckily no one could hear. The people next to me all had headphones on so they luckily weren't paying any attention at all.

Why was he doing this to me? Why was he having so much fun teasing and practically humiliating me? But then again, even more so, why didn't I want him to stop?

Slowly retreating, he pat me on the back and I could barely notice him smirking at Jocelyn as he made his way back to the back room, closing the door with a soft click. What was going on? Only one alcohol filled night and he _now_ starts to notice me?

Closing my eyes, I rubbed my temples as I tried to bring my mind to concentrate on the drawing instead of Riku. I needed to do _something_ productive or I felt that my head would explode from all of his little riddles.

The class ended soon after that luckily and I put my head down onto my drawing board in sheer mental exhaustion. I don't know if I could do this every two days. I mean, luckily there is only two more weeks of this class until the quarter is over but still. All of this mental stimulation was giving me a light headache, like watching one of those rapidly flashing Japanese action cartoons.

Everyone started to quickly pile out, glad that their required time was over and I noticed Jocelyn get up as well. She made her way over to me, glaring at me the entire time. I could tell she was overly pissed but at this time I really didn't care. Anything she would have said I had already got the message to.

"Stay away from Riku, fag," she spat as she walked past me, glaring at Riku as he came out of the room, probably to spend some time with her like he always did.

"No, I don't want to hear it," she said, holding a hand up as she stormed out of the room, leaving her boyfriend to stand there with a raised eyebrow. It didn't even look as if he was upset, more irritated and confused than anything. Looking over to me, now the only person in the room other than himself, he just shrugged.

"I don't know what the hell _that_ was about. I was just messing with her," he said, making his way over to me. I just kept my head on the drawing board, not wanting to move it out of sheer fatigue. In only three days, my life had tripled in its stress level, and some people would _kill_ for drama like this?

"Why are you still here? I thought that you would just file out like the rest of them," he said casually as he leaned back against the table, cocking his head to the side to look at me. I just shrugged, not wanting to move anymore than that.

"I'm just tired. Being glared at by your girlfriend all day is a bit stressful."

He just laughed at that, placing a hand onto his stomach. "Wow birthday boy, you should be a comedian."

I blushed at the use of his nickname for me. "Oh um, you can just call me Sora, it would probably be easier," I suggested, laying my head to the side.

"Hmm, Sora…" he said testing out my name as if it were some kind of sweet desert. How come everything I think about him has to be about food?

Riku smiled. "It's cute, a girl's name right?"

I blushed, glaring at the table frustratingly. Everyone always made fun of me because they always thought that it was a girl's name. "No, it's a unisex name, like Alex or Jordan. People don't tend to get that."

"Didn't mean to touch a nerve there," he said apologetically, holding up his hands. I just looked at him with a raised eyebrow before burying my face back into my arms.

He sighed, probably running a hand through his gorgeous hair. "Well if it makes you feel any better, my mom named me Riku because she liked the woman that did her nails," sighed Riku, making me look up at him in curiosity.

"What?"

"Yeah, my mom's the epitome of 'trailer trash' but without the luxury of a trailer. She named her only _son_ after a Japanese woman who barely knew English only because she did a good manicure," he chuckled, a small tinge of sadness going through his eyes before regaining their former mischief.

"Hey, do you want to see my artwork so far? I _was_ gonna let Jo see it too but she's being a bitch lately," he asked grinning down at me. I sat up on my stool, an unsure look on my face. I had already gotten in enough trouble with his girlfriend but I _did_ want to see what he was working on for the longest time.

"I don't know. Jocelyn really doesn't like me," I say slowly, trying to get him to change his mind.

"Oh don't worry about her, she'll get over it. Besides, I hate most of her friends anyway, too nosy," he said, grabbing my arm and ushering me into the back room.

I could feel jitters start to come over me as I approached the coveted door, practically Riku's private studio. I wondered what it would be like, his artwork and stuff like that. Was he a messy worker with his open pack of cigarettes off to the side and art mediums splayed across the surface? Maybe he would be the neat type with everything in a large bin to work from and his area clean and perfect.

The latter was more right. His expensive sidebag, probably something by a top-notch designer the way it looked, looked new, perfect as if someone sat there and stitched everything together perfectly onto the tan leather surface. It sat flawlessly on the clean chair against the wall.

Then there was the art table itself. It was relatively clean with a large canvas in the middle with a half empty plastic cup of Starbucks, probably something caramel and smooth. His paintbrushes sat in an empty Gatorade bottle that someone probably left there, the bright yellow-orange bristles sticking neatly up. A few pencils were sat above the work, balanced to stay from rolling off of the table with a sizeable white eraser wrapped in blue paper.

To the right of the table was his pack of Camels, opened to show that three were probably missing. It was a bit confusing though, he normally smoked a different brand. He must have run out and just bought whatever was there at the campus liquor store.

Under that was the water container, tinted a nice light pink. And then, his U2 Edition iPod was laid there neatly, the earphones wrapped loosely around the body of the machine and laying on a stray scratchy brown paper towel. Overall, it was perfect.

"What are you looking at?"

I blinked out of my random daydream to see Riku smirking at me.

"You were staring off into space," he said while pulling out the stool, gesturing for me to sit down on it. "Here it is. Tell me what you think."

To sum it all up, it was beautiful. Actually, it was something that I wouldn't really think that someone like Riku would paint. Riku was a handsome bad boy with a reputation that would make even the most understanding priest faint from. He was a dizzying personality, someone so shrouded in mystery that it was no wonder that people were attracted to him. He was the epitome of the great sexual beyond, the dark horizon that no one ever came back from.

So why would he be compelled to make something like this?

It was a simple painting actually. The background was a soft but very bright pink like cotton candy, swirled with white foamy water currents. Two orange-yellow fish were swimming through the middle, looking at each other as they circled like long-lost lovers that had only been reunited after years of some kind of casual separation. Weird huh?

"It's almost done, just have to add some more blue streaks into the current. What do you think?" he asked.

I really didn't know what to say. What _could_ someone say when they saw something so soft and beautiful be painted by someone so rough and sensual seeming? 'I'm surprised it isn't something like a naked woman laying in fruit or anything sexual like that?'

Deciding to play it safe, I just smiled. "It's really nice." Nice? That was all I could say? He must think I'm an idiot, a complete idiot who can't even say anything profound or deep other than just 'it's nice.'

"It better be, I worked my ass off for this to come out like it did," he said with a joking smile, placing his hands on his hips.

I lingered in the chair for a few minutes, looking at the artwork, trying to figure out how a guy like Riku would think to make something so peaceful and innocent. Any normal person would just ask him and get it done with but how could I do that? It would be like asking God why He decided to make the platypus. It was something that just wasn't done, no matter how logical it could seem.

After a while, the sheer feeling of Riku's presence behind me started to make me nervous. What was he thinking about? It probably wasn't me but still, I really wanted to know. But if he did tell me, would I really be as happy to know then? What if it was about his girlfriend or, even scarier, about _me_?

Standing up, I smiled uneasily, not liking the thought of still being in an enclosed room with Riku with no one around to hear what could possibly go on.

"Umm," I started, wondering why the hell I was starting to get nervous. Shyness and I didn't go together, unless it was with Kairi or Tidus. Wait, that doesn't make sense!

He looked at me, waiting for me to continue what I was about to say. Why does he have to look at me like that? Doesn't he know that it makes me nervous?

"I'm going to go back to my room now. I'm a little tired," I said, hoping he wouldn't see right through my excuse to leave and laugh at me or anything.

Luckily he just smiled and shrugged, walking me to the door before saying goodbye, placing a hand on my back for a few lingering seconds. I didn't really care about it anymore, I just knew that I needed to get out of there before I did something stupid, again.

oO0Oo

Laying in bed that night, curled to my side, I watched my roommate study by the light of his lamp on some kind of calculus homework or something like that. I could never understand something as complex as that. Seriously, my brain would explode before I could be able to get past page one.

The day had been so odd. Hell, the whole last few _days_ had been crazy. I had danced with and made out with Riku at a club where I got drunk as hell, had his girlfriend almost beat the crap out of me because of that, and then realized something about Riku that I never really would have suspected.

Well, I really _did_ expect him to be nice and all. People only like a jerk for so long until they get too pissed off.

But Riku seemed just so… I don't know. There's not a real word to describe him. I don't think there could be _any_ word to really describe him. Even if you combined all of the dark and alluring words in every living and deceased language ever that existed on this planet, it still would come far too short to describe the enigma in his entirety.

Wow, that was very deep.

I hear moaning on the other side of my wall and I groan, shoving my head under the pillows. Now I know that I'm up _way_ too late. It seems like every night at approximately this same time, the guy next door is going at it with his girlfriend. Supposedly his roommate has been staying at a friend's apartment and only coming by to check up on things.

"Why don't they just get a damn room," I whine as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to force myself into some kind of slumber. But that never works whenever you need them the most.

Looking over to the side, I see my roommate still studying hard, his headphones probably tuning out the noise that I have to endure. They're not that loud but it still is enough for me to hear it and it pisses me off.

If I wasn't lazy enough, I would just put some shoes on and walk over to Kairi's room to spend the night. Her roommate doesn't care and I've done it before. But what point would it be? By the time I get settled over there, they'll already be done and probably asleep.

So I ended that bizarre but very enjoyable day clutching my pillows to my ears for dear life while I started to let my body do all of the sleeping work for me.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been forever since I've been updating but I just had to take a well deserved break. I don't really have much to say here but I hope that I can catch up with myself soon. I'm supposed to be working on February by now! Eh, I'll get it done! Please review! It really helps a lot! 


	4. December

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: I know, it's been forever since I have updated anything on this page but hopefully I can put this up fairly quickly. Man, I'm so behind on this story that I feel sad. Ah well, I'll just let it go. Anyway, I hope you all still love it like you previously did. Enjoy!

* * *

**Diary of a Student's Desire**

_December_

By the time that December rolled in, all things concerning Riku seemed to die down. His girlfriend stopped glaring at me and everything seemed back to normal.

I hadn't talked to him in ages but I rather liked it this way. Every time he said a word to me or gave me a glance I was up for a harass-fest from Jocelyn which really wasn't my highlight of the day. So I was back to my normal routine of watching him from afar and wishing that one day I could _really_ get to know him. But it wasn't as bad as you might think, after all, I like the somewhat anonymity of it all.

The days have become increasingly colder and it's been harder to walk around without feeling as if your face is turning blue. Everyone is bundled up in their thick coats and shrugging into the warmth of their scarves as they quickly shuffle their way to class, chanting the word 'cold' as if it might make the freeze go away.

Personally, I never liked the cold, I was always a summer child myself, loving to bask in the warm sunlight and sprawling out childishly in the warm sand. But up here, there isn't a beach for miles and even then the water is cold beyond belief. I guess nothing can _really_ compare with island life.

Placing my sketchpad onto the table, I sigh as I unravel the scarf around my neck and pull off my gloves. It'll be another quiet day in drawing class today. Glancing longingly over to the side door, I silently wish that Riku could walk in like he normally would, Starbucks coffee in one hand and a new pack of cigarettes and a lighter in the other.

It has been two weeks since he finished his project and he hasn't been back since. I remember when I caught a sight of the door open and peeked inside to see the makeshift desk barren with only a few paint splatters to show that he had ever been there. And it made my heart sink a little.

Yeah, I know, 'you barely even knew the guy.' But even so, I still liked the familiar routine that I always played with him in my mind. He would come in a given amount of time later into the class and quietly make his way into the side room with a soft click. While we were working on our drawing, he would then keep busy until an hour after class started. Then he would make his rounds and look at all of the artwork before sitting with Jocelyn for a moment. Afterwards he would throw his empty Starbucks cup away and go out for a cigarette break.

The class seemed to drag on as I boredly scribbled in lines aimlessly, listening to my mp3 player. It was another one of Kairi's random playlists that she downloaded for me. At least it kept me company, listening to Sting and the Police. Yeah, I'm _that_ bored.

Looking up at Jocelyn, I noticed she has changed a lot. She used to be really nerdy in the beginning of the year, but pretty nonetheless. But now, looking over her determined features as she draws yet _another_ still life perfectly, I noticed she has had a _big_ upgrade. Her once disheveled set of ponytails or buns are now collected, feminine waves of strawberry blonde hair, her wood-colored eyes not hidden from her glasses now that she probably wears contacts. And even her clothing is different, a soft pink shirt that gathers lightly in the middle.

I frown as I look at my page again, my heart sinking. She's so beautiful that I obviously wouldn't have a chance with him. Not a real one actually. Of course you could leave it to someone as awesome as Riku to find someone that used to look so plain and make her over into some kind of MTV star looking girl. Hell, I only look appealing if I wear the all black, tight, man-bitch outfit that Kairi made me wear at the club. I frowned just thinking of that.

When it is time for break, I pack my things up quietly as everyone files out tiredly to wander around. I can't stay in class, not today. It's just so miserable of a day that it would practically feel like murder sitting there looking at a beaten up and peeling mannequin head.

Grasping my board with my drawing pad, I clutch my small box of materials by the handle and make my way out of the class. The sheer white light of the cold wintry air blinds me a little as I try to figure out which way to go. I could possibly get myself something to eat or I could just make my way back to my dorm and hope that I have some Easy Mac still there that I can snack on.

Deciding on the latter, I trudge off towards the dorms. The large concrete building that I once held so much awe for are now like tall frozen dungeons as I walk past a few of them as I make my way to Cardiff. Yeah, my building's name is Cardiff since the people who built them liked the idea of naming them off of random cities. But I digress.

Walking down the sidewalk, I catch a puff of smoke floating up from one of the bushes. I tilted my head to the side in confusion like a cat as I slowed down a bit. Why would a random bush be smoking? Unless there is a fire but even then it wouldn't look like cigarette smoke.

A few people pushed past me as they tried to hurry back to their dorms for precious heat as I continued to watch the bush in utter disbelief. There is no such thing as smoking shrubbery or I'm Moses looking at the second cousin of dear ole' Burning Bush. But the likeliness of it happening is close to none.

Peering between the bushes, I spy none other than Riku sitting against the brick wall, his head back as he taps the ash from his cigarette, blowing a long and thin stream of gray smoke from his perfect lips. For a second I just look at him in shock, not realizing how much of an idiot I look like standing in the middle of a busy walkway and staring next to a "smoking bush."

His eyes cracked open slowly and his deep aqua eyes shift down to gaze at my feet disinterestedly.

"What the _fuck_ are you looking at birthday boy?" he mutters, bringing the fag back to his lips as he took in another deep nicotine-filled breath. Finally noticing that I was staring, I quickly avert my eyes and try not to seem as dumbly interested as I was.

"Nothing really, I just thought that… well…"

I pause in mid sentence, cursing at the fact that I can't really lie to him to save my life. I was blatantly gawking at him like a grandmother would if they saw their once innocent little grandson wearing a basketball jersey, baggy jeans, and calling her 'fool.' Basically, I was fucked.

There was a bit of silence before he groaned in annoyance, blowing out a little before putting the cigarette back in his mouth, pulling his shoulder-bag back over his shoulder in annoyance.

"I'm not your little peepshow, so unless you want something from me you might as well just keep going on your merry way."

I frowned at that. What happened to the Riku of all smirks and humor? The incredibly seductive Riku that didn't care that everyone had their eyes on him?

As he brushed right past me purposely, I grabbed his wrist with a deep conviction I didn't even know I had. His head whipped back to me as he almost glared in a 'what-do-you-think-you're-doing' type of way. I just held my ground as I looked up at him with a stern face.

"Come spend time with me."

As soon as I said it, I would have laughed too, if it wasn't for the fact that I had heard Riku laughing first. And it wasn't those small kinds of chuckles that let you know that it's okay that you sounded a bit ridiculous. Au contraire, it was one of those greedy guffaws that let you know how much of an ass you made of yourself. And it was every bit humiliating.

"That was the best pickup line that I _ever_ heard!" he sputtered out between hearty laughs as he shook in utter amusement.

"It's not funny!"

"You're right, it was _ridiculous_!" he exclaimed with a dying laugh.

I'd just like to say at this point that by that time I was so utterly annoyed at Riku's insensitivity and just pure egotism that I was giving up on the offer and was going to just leave his butt outside to smoke and freeze all by his lonesome. When it comes to me and my patience, I only feel that I should _be_ patient as long as the participating party is not being a royal asshole. Do you see what I'm saying? So obviously I was about to just tell him off and walk my way into my toasty dorm all by myself.

But then again, I didn't expect Riku to grab my wrist.

"What?!" I managed to exclaim, not finding anything else that could convey how deeply annoyed with him I was. Hell, I could probably look in a dictionary and find something but why waste the time?

Riku just smirked devilishly and used those seductive eyes of his to pin me to the spot.

"I'll spend time with you," he purred. His voice was like silk and melted sugar and it filled my veins with an almost nauseating sweetness. My lids lowered a little, just drinking in the words before I snapped out of it, trying to maintain my composure.

"Oh-Okay, let's go then."

Bringing him to my dorm was the weirdest thing on the planet. The entire walk down the dorm halls, other residents were looking at us in confusion and giving us dirty looks. I swear I saw some looks of jealousy from a few girls that were hanging out in the halls. Riku just took it in stride, making me wonder if he had possibly been in this building before.

I was especially suspicious when I heard a guy mutter 'not again' in annoyance before shutting his door while his roommate asked what the hell he was talking about. But I tried to ignore that. And I tried really hard too.

"So," drawled Riku as he waited for me to pull out my keys. Leaning on the door, he seemed to be totally at ease even though most of my floor seemed to be buzzing with some kind of tension and excitement.

I finally find the damn keys in my mess of an art box and shove them into the door, hands acting a little shaky in nervousness. Did I even remember to pick up my dirty clothes from the floor?

"Is your roommate in? Or do you have a single?"

"Huh? Oh, he's probably out in class still. He probably won't be back for a while, maybe after dinner," I reply, finally opening the damn door and sighing in relief at the extra warm burst of air that blew me right in the face. At that moment I was definitely glad that I left class early.

Riku just hummed in response and slowly slid his way in, studying my room. It actually was pretty clean for once, surprising since Kairi had been over just last night. The walls were pretty bare, just a few posters of bands that I liked and one movie poster for 'Fight Club'.

As I adjusted the thermostat to a cooler setting, Riku looked over the photos on my desk.

"Who's this?"

Looking over his shoulder, I see the black and white photo of Kairi and I when we were little. I was wearing my swim trunks and she a light colored sundress, holding her mother's overly large Sunday hat on her head while grinning. We were holding hands in that one.

"Oh, that's Kairi and I when we were kids. I've known her since we were babies."

He eyed the photo a bit before smirking at me.

"Cute girlfriend. You seem like the childhood sweethearts type."

"What? Oh no, we aren't going out! Well we _used_ to but-"

He laughed again. "Relax kid. I get it, _ancient history_ right?"

At that moment I realized that every laugh that he made was almost always against me. Red in the face, I just busied myself with looking around through my fridge.

"Want some soda or anything? I've got Coke and I think some Mountain Dew."

He made himself comfortable on my bed, laying on his back, gray-socked feet hanging gracefully off of the edge. An arm was placed over his eyes as he just sighed, shaking his head.

"Nope, its way too damn cold outside for anything like that."

"Oh, okay," I whisper in a shy manner as I just close my fridge and look out of the window for a few seconds before closing the blinds. With a scene as dismal as it looked just then outside, I didn't want to even have to look at it if I didn't have to.

A few silent minutes passed after that, me just leaning back against my desk watching the clock on my roommate's table flash its red colon in time with the seconds. 12:52pm. Around this time I would still have been in that freezing dungeon of a room waiting in misery for the last fifty-some-odd minutes to go by.

For a while, I thought that Riku must have gone to sleep since I could faintly hear his slow breathing breaking through the warm silence. As I turned around to look at him, I noticed that he was unnervingly calm. Yeah, I know, it's not like the guy is always running around like a nervous wreck. But there was always a busy sense about him, like once he finished something he went onto the next. But here he was, in some kind of suspended state, relaxing on my navy blue comforter as if it was his first time to relax in years.

Nearing my bed, I hover over him for a second, just watching him some more. I didn't want to let this sight of him leave my mind. He was so un-Riku-like at that moment but still-

"I'm not asleep birthday boy."

-so annoyingly Riku all the same.

Insert inner growl of frustration here. Thank you.

"I told you, it's Sora," I muttered, sitting right next to him and leaning back against his legs a little. They were in the way from sitting against the wall.

He chuckled under his arm and grinned a pearly white grin. Surprising, him being a smoker and coffee drinker and all. Must be killer on his dentistry.

"I know. I just think 'birthday boy' suits you better. You seem like one of those kids who pout when they don't get the Power Ranger that they want."

I snicker a little and look up at the ceiling. "Wow, _that _was retro. I was more of a Transformers and GI Joe kid actually."

Putting his arm back to his side, he shrugged, squinting his eyes from the sudden bright light.

"I wasn't into the normal stuff. I was the little pansy that played house and Barbies."

It was my turn to laugh then. Riku? Tall, handsome, sexy, and pheromone spewing Riku? Playing Barbies?

I think I annoyed him a bit since he looked at me with a limp half scowl, seeming too tired to really care anymore. But it was still a priceless thing to think about. A small handsome little boy with short white hair, squabbling with a freckled red-head over which person would get to put their Barbie in the hot pink corvette.

"I'm glad you find it harry-fucking-larious," he sulked, rolling over to his side. Guess I found a weak spot.

"No, it's just something I wouldn't think you'd be into as a kid. Kairi couldn't get me anywhere near them with a ten foot pole and a barrel of candy."

Speaking of the devil, right then my cell phone decided to ring.

Let me take this time to tell you I really hate it when Kairi takes the liberty to mess with my cellphone when I don't look. Especially when she decides to add on certain ringtones that she knows I hate.

And it's even more embarrassing to hear Riku burst out laughing as I try to search in my things for the little electronic demon playing "Look At Us" by Sarina Paris.

_For every night I dream _

_The more I will believe_

_Look at us baby_

_Look at us now_

_A bird up in the sky_

_Our love will melt -_

"What the fuck Kairi!?"

Giggles. "Oh, you don't like your little theme song. I thought you wouldn't mind since it's yours and Riku's love song together. Oh I can imagine you dancing to it at your wedding!"

My face pales as I jump off of the bed and make towards the door, hoping that Riku didn't just hear that.

"Damnit Kairi! I kind of have company right now so make it quick," I whisper while turning down the volume of the phone.

There was a bit of a pause before my best friend began a laughing fit, sounding something akin to the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.

"Oh, I _see_ Sora-kins. You and your illusive 'man friend' might need some _alone_ time. Do I know who it is by any chance?" she asked in her sweetest voice.

"Yes you do. And no, it's not like that at all okay?"

Kairi just laughed again. With that girl, there is no way that I could prove to her that we weren't doing anything other than wild sloppy sex across my roomate's desk, even if I videotaped our whole conversation and had three eyewitnesses. Her mind would always decide that the very hot, but very disturbing, images of Riku and I committing the ultimate sin are much more truthful than the oath of her lifelong friend.

"Really? Now the question is if I believe you or not. I'll be by before dinner time so I'm giving you a proper warning."

"Okay…"

"Oh, and just make sure you use a condom Sora! Better safe than sorry!" she cheered into the phone.

I hung up on her right then and there, not deciding to give her the courtesy of a farewell or anything like that. Hell, she even changed my ringtone to top it off. What the hell was wrong with "Holiday" by Green Day? She probably accidentally erased it so that I'd have to buy the damn song all over again.

Putting the phone onto my desk, I just sigh and run a tired hand through my hair.

"Seems like you two have an interesting relationship," commented Riku as he grinned at me from my bed.

"Eh, yeah, I guess if you call 'wanting to bash her face in every now and then' a _relationship_."

Falling into a sitting position on the bed with a huff, I let myself bounce a little on the mattress before pulling my knees up a little. Riku just rolled onto his side, watching me still.

"So I suppose that you aren't a big Sarina Paris fan then?" he remarked, propping his head up on his hand, nudging me with his knuckles. Rolling my eyes, I shook my head.

"No, Kairi likes to mess with my things just to make me angry."

He laughed and showed off his pearly whites again. "Good, I would have had to call you a pansy if you were."

I rolled my eyes with the hint of a boyish smirk.

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A/N: Yeah, nothing much really happened for this one but I didn't want it to randomly jump too fast. Besides, I needed to just get this done, it was bugging me that I was taking more than a year to get this chapter out. It's really sad.

Anyway, I should come out with January soon. I'm gonna keep up with this story if it kills me, which it won't. Besides, I have a whole month between time to add chapters. Well, please review!


	5. January

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: Well, this chapter was a bit painful to type. I wanted to add a whole lot more into it but I'm just going to type in doses. That way, I can get this up in a speedy amount of time and not choppy and rushed. But this is a nice chapter to help get to know a little more about Riku, he can't be all mysterious forever. Enjoy!

**Diary of a Student's Desire**

_January_

I felt lethargic as I rode in the back of a taxi with my parents to the campus. Christmas break was really nice but I didn't feel like making my trek back to my icebox of a dorm. But my mom told me that I had an excellent time being there before and that I shouldn't keep Kairi waiting. Yeah, she decided to go with her parents separately. Why? I don't know. That's just typical Kairi.

Sure enough, it was even colder outside that first day back in the city than when I left in December. Luckily, I got a thick coat for Christmas and plenty of scarves and sweaters. My mother made me try them all on to make sure that they fit and to coo over how 'handsome' I looked while my dad just rolled his eyes with a laugh.

"This place is beautiful in the snow Sora. How come you haven't taken pictures for us at home?" asked my mother, eyes glued to the thickly snow covered trees and the many miserable people trudging through it.

I shrugged and snuggled deeper into my nice and thick coat. Maybe I should have worn a shirt underneath the sweater since I was still a little cold.

"Well we'll have to make sure that we do before we leave. Your campus is gorgeous in the winter time."

"After we eat okay dear? I think Sora is starving," suggested my dad, making my ears perk in confusion. That was weird. Before we left the airport I bought a sandwich and some coffee. It was one of the drinks that Riku always brought to class.

My mind was swimming in Riku coffee fantasies as my parents chatted about what to do while they were there for the day. I didn't really care whatever we did as long as it didn't involve me running naked in the snow. That would have not been so much fun.

It was a hard thing for me to do, to be at home in California and not be able to be around Riku. I had to prevent myself from bragging about him when I came back. It definitely would have been an awkward thing since only Kairi and my therapist knew about my liking both teams and all. Well… more of Riku, his team, and maybe a little bit of Kairi's.

Anyway, he never gave me his number, though I gave him mine. It made me a little upset since I was used to whole courtesy of when someone gives a friend their number they were supposed to give one back. But then again, if I was anywhere _near_ as attractive and interesting as Riku, I wouldn't want to give my personal info to just anyone. It definitely would have ended up in the female black market for sure.

--

We arrived at the school shortly after that, dragging my one suitcase filled with Christmas gifts and clothes while my dad paid and tipped the driver. Our cold breaths blew out in thick fogs of dying heat as we took a second to look at the giant concrete dungeon that I was returning to.

"Welllll-p… here we are," sighed my dad, rubbing his glove covered hands as he looked side to side to get his bearings. The campus looked radically different covered in slushy white from the yellow and green leafed college that they were used to before.

"And why did you and Kairi want to go to this school again?" muttered my mother as she blew into her hands and rubbed them.

"Because it's an excellent school Mom, and it was a free ride."

She huffed and put her arm around me as my dad led us to the building, allowing me for a second to use my key to get us inside. Ever since I applied for this school Mom never really approved on my decision. She rather I went to someplace like Berkeley or USC, somewhere that it was generally warm and had forgiving weather in the winter. However, attending Xavier University in Radiant Garden, Oregon wasn't something that she would approve of so soon.

"At least it's warmer in here… a little," muttered my dad as he wheeled my suitcase as we made our way to my room.

I let my mother busy herself with unloading and putting away my things while I took off to wandering the halls. Dad was far too busy making sure he called around from my 'Visitor's Guide to Radiant Garden' and trying to find some things for us to do to pay any attention to me at the moment. I was far from caring anyway, I just wanted to nap or find something more interesting than watching my mom look around wide eyed and my dad leading her around.

Entering the bathroom, I washed my face with some nice warm water, noticing that one of the showers in the far end of the hall was running.

'Must be some nerd that came here way too early to get prepared,' I thought with a chuckle, giving my face another splash of hot water.

It was the best feeling in the world, feeling the warm heat of the water trickling down my face. For a brief moment, I forgot that there was snow outside.

Standing there while I looked at my wet reflection in the streaky mirror, I sighed with a smile, watching the droplets drip off of my eyelashes. This new quarter was going to be pretty good. There was no real reason why I even thought so, it just seemed like it in my mind. Like I had some kind of feeling that wonderful and interesting things were going to befall me in this seasonally unattractive school.

I walked over to the paper towel dispenser and started pumping the lever down, trying to get a sizeable size of minimally absorbent sandpaper towels. At that moment I seriously regretted washing my face if I had to resort to using the brown scratchy paper on my flushed face.

"Great way to start an _awesome year_," I grumbled as I tried to get a few more inches of the paper before I tore it off.

Wiping over my face, I could hear the shower curtains shift and the sound of shower sandals flopping soggily on the grubby tile floor.

Of course, by that moment I had to have guessed who it possibly could be.

"Oh, hey. I know you," chuckled none other than Riku Ackhart, a playful smirk dancing across his flushed red lips.

Around his waist was a slightly faded light blue towel, hanging low on his hips, holding up one side in his fist. His silvery platinum hair clung to his smooth and flushed neck as he brushed his fingers through the front, plastering his bangs slicked back.

Gulping in, I tore my eyes from tracing down his silver paved 'happy trail,' as Kairi affectionately calls the fine line of hair tracing from a man's belly button down to his… well, you _know_ where.

"Sorry, my mother said never to trust half naked men with bad pickup lines," I quickly said back, hoping to distract him from how uncomfortable I was at that moment.

"Oh really birthday boy? What boy still listens to their mother?"

Making his way to the lockers, he searched around, inspecting a tube of toothpaste before taking that and a spare toothbrush and making his way to the counter next to me. Grinning at me with his glittering eyes, he gave me a playful bump in the hip, shrugging.

"Well, then again," he continued. "If you don't you'll just end up like me."

Raising an eyebrow, I wadded up the damp paper towel.

"What, secretive and cocky?"

"No, incredibly sexy and the guy that everyone wants to get laid by. Why would I want any competition in _that_ department?" he replied, striking a model-esque pose, hands on his hips and face high with that smirk again.

I laughed, tossing the paper towel away and shoving my now warmed hands into my pockets, trying to preserve the heat.

"Now Sora, I've graced you with my presence; why are you here? Some project or something that you have to do?" he asked, removing the new toothbrush from the paper and plastic casing and rubbing the soft new bristles against his lips.

'Hmmm, guess it's a habit or something,' I thought as I watched him daze out for a split second, enjoying the sensation, before turning on the cold tap and running the virgin brush under the freezing water, removing the excess with a sharp flick. He applied the paste and shoved the stick in, brushing roughly as he looked himself over in the mirror.

"Nothing really," I start, somehow finding a way to focus on words while watching him brush his teeth. If I ever thought that my life was pathetic, I think it just went to an all time new low right then.

"Mummmnding reeerry? Vadever," he mumbled against the bristles as he rubs his middle finger at a small patch of faint sunspots on the bridge of his smooth nose.

"Seriously, I was just coming back early cause my parents wanted to visit the school and the city before they left back home."

Spitting out the powder blue foam from his mouth, he rinses off the brush casually.

"Oh isn't that cute, taking Mommy and Daddy around the town. Must be exciting," he remarked sarcastically, replacing the brush into the original casing and shoving it at me. "Put this in your locker, I might need it later."

Rolling my eyes, I did as I was told, wondering how he was able to get into someone else's locker and not able to put the stuff back. But, as with many things that involved Riku, I just let it go and didn't think too hard on it. Didn't want an aneurism and all.

Pulling out a set of keys from the other locker, he shut it and locked the combination lock, giving a light tug on his towel to make sure it stayed clinging on his hips.

"Besides, what are _you_ doing here anyway?" I asked in mock suspicion.

He led me out of the bathroom with another one of his cocky smirks.

"You know, just taking a shower."

--

My parents and I were making our way down the hall when we were intercepted by a fully clothed and dry Riku, standing in the doorway of a room down the hall, shoving a wallet into the right pocket of his loose fitting dark grey jeans. A thick black designer turtleneck fit snug on his muscular body, an expensive set of diamond earrings in his ears.

"Hey," he said with a polite smile.

My mother blinked momentarily before whispering into my ear.

"Who's that?"

"Hello, are you a friend of Sora's?" asked my father, being the bolder one in my parent's relationship.

Riku nodded and reached out, shaking my father's hand firmly. If it wasn't for the fact that he still had that alluring twinkle in his eye, I wouldn't have believed that it was the same arrogant Riku.

"Yeah, I used to visit his drawing class a lot; my girlfriend's in it and I'm on good standing with the professor."

"Oh really? How come you never mentioned this boy before Sora?" asked my father, a bit disappointed to know that I had friends from the university other than Kairi and Tidus.

Blinking, I noticed Riku's playful expression and shrugged embarrassedly.

"I guess it never came up?"

My mom continued to watch Riku from her stance slightly behind me, her bright blue eyes staring in all curiosity.

"Sora sometimes has a bit of a difficulty making new friends without them practically forcing friendship on him," remarked my father, giving me a very dissatisfied look.

Riku just laughed his charming and perfect laughs and leaned back against the frame of the door, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"Well Sora's a really nice kid. But it's a shock that he's so shy since he had no problems being comfortable when _we_ first officially met."

I blushed at what he was implying. The first time we officially met I was drunk off of my mind and we were sloppily eating each other's faces on a sweaty dance floor. Luckily my father would never be suspicious about what he meant by the sentence and he just nodded in understanding.

"Well, in any case, I'm Mark and this is my wife Sarah. As you can tell, we're Sora's parents," remarked my dad with a short laugh.

My mother smiled politely and shook hands with Riku, his enchanted eyes focused on her with a smile that oozed with dizzying charm.

"Nice to meet the both of you," he said as I watched my mother blush at the gesture. I had to hold myself back from rolling my eyes. Of course Riku would be capable of charming my parents too. It seemed like there wasn't a soul that couldn't be swayed by his powers of persuasion.

"Well, we were just going out to see the city and have some dinner. Would… you like to join us?" she asked hesitantly, looking at me for permission to invite him. Of course I was more than excited at the idea that he might come with us. After all, it _was_ Riku Ackhart.

Pausing for a second, he blinked a little and then shrugged casually.

"Sure, my day is free and my car is parked in the front. Just let me get my keys."

"Good then, we'll wait outside," said my father as he guided us towards the front door. I was ecstatic; we were going to spend a day with Riku! Sure, I was a little upset that it would involve my parents also but any time with Riku was better than no time with him at all.

As I followed my chatting parents, I turned back and watched Riku quietly retreat back into the dark room, assuming that we already were down the hall. I paused and spied his figure going to the desk inside and retrieving the rest of his things.

"Who was that?" asked a groggy male voice in the room, coming from the bed against the wall.

Riku sighed as he searched on the floor.

"One of my friend's folks. They're just here for a visit," he said and paused, running a hand through his hair. "Where the hell is my hairtie?"

The slate blue comforter shifted as the man laid on his stomach, looking at the floor searchingly. He reached down with his smoothly tanned and muscular arm and tossed Riku the small black loop of thread and elastic.

"Thanks."

As Riku busied himself with tying his hair, the man in the bed sat up with a grunt.

"Do I at least get a kiss before you run out of here?" he asked teasingly.

Riku smirked and chuckled before leaning down and meeting his lips with the others with a quiet hiss of breath, his arm resting on the back of the bed for support.

I watched them guiltlessly, hiding out of sight as the man felt his hand along the flat curve of Riku's chest and stomach, making the other break the kiss as he felt the hand wander deep into his jeans. It was bad enough that I was watching them at that moment when certainly I was supposed to be outside with my parents. However, there was also that curiosity that kept me there. Who was this guy? I think I saw him in the hall a few times but I never really knew who he was. Also, how did Riku meet him and how did they hook up?

Blushing at the sound of Riku moaning between his laughter, I hurried down the hallway and out of the building, making sure that Riku would never know that I was standing in the hallway in front of that door watching him fool around. And even more, I wanted to make sure that he would never know that just watching him kissing the other man brought such a wonderful tingling sensation though my body that almost dared me to go in there and take Riku's attention all for myself.

It wasn't long before we found ourselves at a quaint little restaurant in the city. It was a lucky thing that we found Riku when we did. If we had hailed a taxi, we would have had to walk around the whole time or stand in the cold to wait for another one. Luckily Riku had such a nice and warm car to drive us around in.

The restaurant was a small Italian one, with small shallow white candles decorating the tables and giving it a nice atmosphere. It was one of Riku's favorites and, of course, when he suggested we go I automatically voted that we go. Luckily I tried not to seem _too_ enthusiastic.

After the dinner, we walked around and looked into the shops, my mother buying a few sweaters for me to keep warm, which Riku eagerly helped in selecting.

"Here, this'll make all of the _girls_ want a piece of you," joked Riku, making me blush as I stood shirtless in the dressing room, slipping the soft burgundy ribbed sweater through the door. I had to admit, it did feel _and_ look nice.

--

It was nighttime when my parents were dropped off at the airport, giving me hugs and kisses and remarking on how much fun they had with Riku. Of course he smiled and thanked them for inviting him and wishing them a safe trip before the both of us made out way to the car.

That night was increasingly cold as we walked down the parking lot. I couldn't believe that it could get this cold here. In California it did get very chilly and snow in some cases. However, it was a shock that it was as bitingly cold as it was now. My hands were freezing as I stuffed them into the pockets of my zipped up jacket, trying to return them to at least a respectable temperature.

Riku look at me over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

"You cold birthday boy?" he asked, as if it wasn't freezing around us.

I rolled my eyes and tried blowing into my hands.

"Gee, what the hell do _you_ think?" I retorted, not really feeling like being sarcastic at that moment.

He just laughed and beeped his car unlocked from a few yards away. I hopped in and closed the door, trying to escape from the cold, and huddled into the chair, buckling my seatbelt.

Riku sat down shortly after I did, pulling on his seatbelt and starting the car, turning on the heat and the defroster.

"Say, you don't have anywhere to really go right this minute do you?" he asked, putting a hand to the back of my seat as he looked out the back window, backing up slowly. There was a huge truck that was nice enough to block our view of the road.

I shrugged, knowing full well that I was in no rush at all to be back at the frigid dorms.

"Not really. Why?"

After he backed up, he proceeded to drive down the lanes and out of the airport parking lot, the sound of what was probably my parent's plane taking off sounding through the car.

"Well, I have to go pick up my ex. It shouldn't be too far away and it would be more convenient to drive there from where we are rather than dropping you off and having to go all the way back."

My ears perked at the statement. His ex? I rubbed my hands as I watched him concentrate on the road, sitting back in a relaxed fashion in the driver's seat. I was about to meet his _ex_?

"Um… s-sure. No problem, I'm free," I stuttered, trying yet again to hold back my excitement and nervousness.

"Thanks, though I have to warn you things do get a little _weird_ when we're together in the same area," he remarked with a chuckle.

I blinked and looked out the window, watching the snow covered scenery pass me. Weird? I wondered how this girl was going to be like.

--

We pulled up in front of a nice set of town homes in the Twilight Town area of Radiant County. I never really knew that the county was so big since we drove for about an hour to get to the area. It was nice, the dark night sky illuminated with a clearer view of the stars. The saline smell in the air gave hint that the ocean was just a few miles away, probably in view if we were able to get to a sizeable hill.

Parallel parking in front of the complex, he pulled out his keys and got out of the car, messing with his bangs a little.

"You coming, or are you just gonna stare at the sky all day?" he asked with a smirk.

Unbuckling and opening the door, I was about to give back an equally snide remark. However, as he stood there, that ever so playful glitter in his aqua eyes seemed to shine with the moonlight, his skin becoming as light as glowing porcelain, melting into the soft whiteness of his moon-kissed hair.

At the sight of me openly gawking at him, he just rolled his eyes and made his way to the front gate of the residence.

"Yeah, I already know I'm hot Sora. Thanks for stating the obvious."

Blinking, I snapped out of my trance and ran after him, pouting and trying to hold back the creeping pink flush in my cheeks.

"I wasn't staring you psycho!"

"Oh yeah, and I'm the Queen of Sheba baby," he replied in a flamboyant accent, making me almost laugh at how authentic it sounded.

"Yeah, I think I might actually believe _that_."

Unlocking the gate, we made our way into the courtyard area, making me close my eyes and smell the many fragrant scents of blooming flowers, odd enough since it was snowing not so long ago.

As if sensing my curiosity, Riku tapped my shoulder and pointed off to the side.

"A girl named Naminé keeps to the flowers in a greenhouse over there. It keeps the area smelling nice all year."

I nodded and smiled at the thought, letting Riku continue to lead me up to a rather nice town home, sitting towards he center of the complex. A collection of winter plants were in a planter next a quaint bench on the small patio as Riku rang the doorbell, not caring that it was well past twelve at night by then.

Fussing with his bangs one more time, he folded his arms, waiting for the door to open. The sound of latches and chains coming undone signaled that he wouldn't be waiting long, along with a low grumbling form behind the door.

A lean boy with stylish blonde hair and piercing blue eyes opened the door, leaning against the frame with an alluring gaze. His torso was clad with a snug fitting dark gray shirt with three-quarter sleeves and a black stripe tracing along the arms. The tight straight-leg light blue jeans were slung low and showed off his tempting set of smooth hipbones that traced into the recesses of his pants. A pair of small black hoops adorned his ears, a ruby stud on his left ear.

Overall, he looked exactly like the kind of person that Riku would associate with.

"Aren't you a little late or did you find something more interesting to do along the way?" asked the boy, making Riku give a genuine laugh.

"Well I missed you too."

At that, Riku opened the door and brushed past the unmoving blonde boy, earning a playful glance before reaching for the door.

When he looked at the door, he realized that I was still standing at the doorway, with an expression of nervousness on my face, he narrowed his eyes and looked back at Riku.

"Since when did you bring company over to _my_ house?" he asked, obviously offended at my presence.

From inside the recesses of the house I could hear Riku shuffle with some plates.

"Well I couldn't let him freeze in my car."

The boy scoffed and went back into the house, leaving the door open.

"It hasn't stopped you before."

Seeing this as an invitation, I slowly crept into the house, closing the door quietly behind me. The house started at a short entryway, equipped with a coat closet and bucket stocked with umbrellas. Deeper inside and around the corner was the living room, a set of sleek white couches set on an equally white carpet, making me hurry and take off my shoes and arranging them next to Riku's in the entranceway.

The blonde guy gazed his eyes over me before making his way off into the kitchen, still not pleased at my unannounced presence in his house. Riku was busy helping himself to some pasta that the guy must have made for dinner. At the sight of the pasta, the blonde made a frown.

"Yeah, I made it thinking that you were going to be here in time for dinner. But then again when have you ever been on time for anything," remarked the boy, folding his arms.

Riku just looked back at him with a smile, rubbing his elbow into his friend's side.

"Always such a stickler for time Roxas. Technically, it still could be counted as dinner and it's edible all the same."

The blonde known as Roxas rolled his eyes and snatched the plate out from Riku's hands and sloughed the pasta back into the pot. With a flick of his fingers he was able to turn on the stove and put the lid back on the top.

"You never put good food into the microwave, don't you learn anything in your classes?" he muttered.

Noticing I was standing uneasily at the entryway to the kitchen, Riku waved me in, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Roxas, this is Sora. He goes to XU," he said, keeping his glittering eyes keenly focused on Roxas'.

"Hi," I offered, trying to at least spark some kind of reasonable conversation with him. Even though I was generally shy, I really wanted to at least get to know this interesting guy, especially since he knew Riku.

Roxas looked at me in an unreadable expression, his long and thick brown lashes masking the real intentions in his mirror-like eyes as he shrugged and went back to tending to the pot.

"Yeah, whatever."

Sensing that his friend wasn't going to budge, Riku shoved him out of the way and opened the pot, serving himself a plate of lukewarm pasta. Stuffing a forkful of chicken and alfredo covered noodles, he watched as Roxas almost gagged in repulsion, making sure to make sloppy slurping sounds as he consumed the food.

"What the hell was that for?" demanded Roxas.

Turning to me, Riku jerked his head towards the stove, obviously ignoring his flustered friend.

"You hungry? You should eat something."

Looking from Roxas to Riku, I was honestly very hungry. I hadn't had a bite since dinner four hours ago. However, I didn't know whether it was a good idea to get myself into the little battle between the two.

"Uh…"

"Well, you're eating anyway. This food is too good to waste and you need it," he insisted, making me pout at the last comment.

He pushed me to the dining room table with a plate of half heated pasta and promptly seated himself next to me, leaving Roxas to stand red faced with a murderous glare on his face.

"What the hell was that for?" he demanded, just to be brushed off by Riku.

"He was hungry, I couldn't possibly let him starve while there was food around now could I?"

He just huffed and stormed off to the living room, possibly to take out his anger on a pillow or something defenseless like that. However Riku still wasn't fazed, casually eating his meal while humming a familiar tune to himself that he probably heard on the radio.

Hesitantly, I ate the delicious food, cold, but still good. I was still unsure about being there at the house, feeling a little out of place since I obviously wasn't welcome there. However, Riku was insisting that I stay with him and, well, there wasn't a chance that I would be able to take a bus back at this time of night. Public transit tended to close early on Sundays in this county.

After a moment of eating, Riku took our finished plates to the kitchen, quickly washed them, and then proceeded to make his way to the door, Roxas falling into step behind us with his duffle bag over his shoulder.

As we walked to the car in silence, I was guided to sit in the front with Riku, earning himself another unappreciative glare from Roxas.

"Wait!" I said as Riku was about to start the car.

"What? You forget something?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

"Maybe his diapers?" muttered Roxas with a sigh.

Riku chuckled at that. "Cute Roxy… _very_ cute."

The other just rolled his eyes and folded his arms into his thick black coat.

"Well could it hurry up, I don't have all night."

"But weren't we supposed to pick up your ex?" I asked, not really understanding why we were leaving without the reason why we came.

Riku just blinked, not quite understanding what I was talking about before the ringing sound of Roxas' laughter could be heard from the backseat.

"Wow, when I though the world possibly couldn't get even more brainless, in comes the infallible Sora to prove us wrong," he chuckled, making Riku fall into laughter as well.

Raising an eyebrow, I glared at Riku, not understanding the meaning of my statement.

"Are you dense or what?" said Riku, shaking his head as he started the car. "Roxas _is_ my ex, surprising as it may be for you."

After they regained their composure and Riku started to drive away, I kept my embarrassed gaze out of the window, trying to hide the burn in my cheeks. I must have seemed to be the most ignorant person in the world at that moment.

A/N: Wow, I finally cranked out another chapter to this story that's in time with the season. I think the world might end soon. Hopefully my addition of a new character won't ruin anything for you guys. I really liked the idea of adding Roxas into the story since he isn't in any of my other ones so far. At least not mentioned by name. And trust me, he will be an interesting and fun character, not the lumpy grump of mud that he is here.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review. It really helps me see how people are interpreting the story and what they want to see in it. And I promise no more year long updates. Until next time!


	6. February

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: Well, I decided to try to start this chapter as fast as possible so that by the time that February crawls by, I could be well and done with this or at least halfway there. I have a lot of big plans for this chapter so I hope that they can actually come out. If so, then this shall be a really great chapter with a bit of surprises. Enjoy.

**Diary of a Student's Desire**

_February_

By the time that February rolled in, I still wasn't too keen on the idea of spending time with Roxas. Sure, he was a bit fun when he decided to loosen up. However, by the first Tuesday of the month, I clearly understood that he had a deep grudge against me. Whenever Kairi came along on our trips, he would be civil to her and actually laugh at some of her jokes. However, whenever he could, he would do his best to ignore me and put me down.

Each weekend Riku and I would go visit Roxas at the local ice rink. It was something that Roxas was very driven into doing. His life was shaped to be an Olympic speedskater. He practiced any chance that he could, making laps around the rink with weird skates or running miles along the beach. With all of the exercise he was doing, I was surprised that he hasn't already won the medal yet.

We sat in the mini-café, Riku, Kairi, and I, eating fries and chicken strips while watching Roxas charge down the sides of the track. He was trying again to beat his best time of the month.

"He doesn't have much time to practice does he?" asked Kairi, sipping on an Icee.

Riku sighed and twirled a fry along the others, a melancholy mood coming over him.

"I get worried about him. He tries too hard to be the best when he should be doing it for himself."

I nodded in understanding. Earlier, I had learned that Roxas was the son of a famous Olympic skating family. His father Luxord was a successful German Olympic figure skater and won many awards before meeting his partner Larxene. After they met, they ruled the ice, a power couple that couldn't be beat. They seemed to live for the ice, their skill so polished that it appeared almost unnatural.

In time they settled down and retired from competitive ice-skating, doing a few promotions here and there. But they continued to try and share with Roxas and his twin sister Naminé their love of skating. Naminé never really picked up on it but Roxas was determined to excel with it. He made it his life dream.

"Has he ever competed before? At least to see if he's doing well?" I asked, watching as Roxas stopped at the end of his sprint with a smile on his face, skating towards the time clock perched on the side of the rink.

Riku noticed and focused back onto his fries, watching his friend out of the corner of his eye.

"Of course he has."

"And how did he do?" asked Kairi, excited for Roxas.

At seeing the time, he cursed loudly and banged his fist against the hard barrier before skating off again in a huff.

"He couldn't even place in most of them. He'd get knocked off of the race before they hit the top five."

Watching Roxas, I saw as he wiped at his face with the back of his hand before charging off for another round of laps. Frustration had already set in and, at that moment, I felt truly bad for him. He seemed so hopeless at that moment, hating himself for not being able to make what appeared to him as such an easy time. He would run for days and still not be able to gain more than a few tenths of a second. But he still remained so determined to excel and it was heartbreaking to watch.

"Well there must be something that he can do to get better. He does everything else," asked Kairi.

Riku shook his head, placing his elbows onto the table, his bangs drifting to the side of his face.

"He just doesn't have the legs for it. He's trained to be pretty powerful. However, he doesn't have the right body to be able to successfully compete."

Kairi looked down at the white table with a sad sigh.

"It must tear him apart, trying so hard for his life's passion but not getting anything out of it."

--

A week went by and soon enough, Valentine's Day fever took over the minds of everyone in the campus. Many of the guys were rushing to figure out what to get their demanding girlfriends and the girls were giggling to each other about the weird boys that had summoned up the courage to ask them out.

Luckily Riku was just his usual self on that day, arrogant and always with a playful smirk as girls and boys loaded him with flowers and expensive gifts. I was luckily granted the privilege of housing his love trophies in my room for the day. Note the sarcasm.

There was no way that I was going to smile that day. Kairi was off turning hopeful boys down with kind smiles and a few insults when they didn't clearly get the message and Roxas was off wherever the hell he normally was. And I still haven't been able to work off my stupid attraction to Tidus so there was no way I was going to spend time with him.

Sitting in my Biology class, I pouted at the red heart lollipop that our overly cheerful professor gave us. Apparently her long-time live-in boyfriend chose to pop the question on that day and she was determined to spread the cheer to us. Luckily she decided to give us an automatic A on the last exam we took.

With a sigh, I twirled the lollipop as she continued to blab on and on about her future plans, a few of the other students joining in with her conversation enthusiastically.

"God, Valentine's Day sucks," I muttered as I waited for class to end. At least I could look forward to seeing Riku later that night.

--

It wasn't until later that night that Riku had decided to appear at my door. For a moment, I didn't think he was going to come by so I started to get ready to for bed, silently cursing his name.

Pulling off my shirt, there was a knock at the door, followed by a thud and some mumbling. I paled for a few seconds, thinking someone had decided to either try to rob me or was messing around with his girlfriend on my door.

Hesitantly, I peeked through the peep hole, seeing nothing at first except a few white blonde hairs. Then the slightly flushed face of Riku appeared, rubbing his forehead with a slew of curses.

Even though I did feel a little naked in only my boxers and hair still wet from the shower I had just taken, I opened the door, more worried about Riku than my own lack of clothes.

"Riku! What the hell are you doing here?" I asked, noting the smell of alcohol and perfume, something that his girlfriend probably wore for him that day. He looked like a mess as he leaned on me, trying to clear his probably dizzy head.

"I came for my shit. Don't you remember? It's still V-day right?" he remarked, blinking hard to keep his focus.

Pushing away from me, he tried to make his way to the collection of things and slumped to the side of the wall, groaning tiredly. I closed the door and rushed over to him, a worried look across my face.

"You should sit down, you're drunk," I whispered, feeling suddenly uncomfortable around him. Up to that point, I never really had to deal with someone who was drunk. Sure I myself did drink and I was used to being around some buzzed guys. However here was Riku, practically falling over intoxicated in my room.

Shaking his head a little too forcefully, he licked his lips and sniffed.

"Don't worry, I can count my ABCs. Wanna hear?"

He giggled right after and almost tripped on his shoes as he stood in front of me. I cringed at his alcohol breath.

"You can't count ABCs. And there's no way I'm going to let you drive like this and get in an accident."

"Phbt… What do you know anyway? I drove all the way here di-n't I?" he slurred, wrapping his arms lazily on my shoulders and snuggling his cheek against the top of my head.

I paled, thanking the heavens that he hadn't driven off of a cliff. He must have had Jocelyn in the car to make sure he was okay. There was nothing else I could do for him, I didn't know where he lived and I definitely wouldn't have felt right staying at his apartment on Valentine's Day.

Feeling his weight suddenly pull down on me, I wobbled and tried to keep balance. His slow breathing meant he must have fallen asleep while he was rambling. Great…

"Riku? You're heavy! Wake up!" I whimpered as he started to slide to the side in his sleep.

With a curse, I awkwardly maneuvered my way to my bed and tried to pry his death grip off of my neck. For a delicate looking guy like Riku, his strength was almost lethal. But I also was lucky enough to be short enough to squeeze my head out of his grip and, gently, was able to get him to lay down.

He must have been in a really deep sleep since he barely flinched before snuggling into my pillows. I glared down at him. What the hell possessed him to come to my room when he was so intoxicated? He should have been with his girlfriend so he could have spent the night at her place until the morning.

"And now where am _I_ gonna sleep?"

My roommate was out with his own girlfriend so I could use his bed. But I still didn't feel comfortable about it all.

Digging through my drawers, I pulled out a pair of pajama pants and huddled into the corner of the room while I hurriedly slipped them on. I thought maybe I should call Kairi, she wasn't doing anything that night so maybe she could help me or something. Then again, I knew exactly what her advice would have been.

'Rip off his pants and take it like a man Sora!'

Shivering in a mix of emotions I shook the idea out of my head, not wanting to even think about taking advantage of Riku. I was sure that many of his admirers _would_ if they were in my position right now and if I thought about it for too long, I might have done something that I would have regretted.

Turning off my television, I made my way back to the bed and proceeded to take off his shoes. If he was going to stay in my room he might as well be comfortable.

I placed his shoes neatly to the floor under the bed and pulled Riku up into a seating position. He sniffed and blinked tiredly, allowing me awkwardly remove his coat.

"What're you doing? Can't keep your hands off of me I see?" he asked in a low tone with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, getting one of his arms out.

"Oh yeah. I've been waiting all week so I could undress you," I muttered with a sarcastic note in my voice.

Riku just chuckled and tilted his head to the side, allowing me to get the coat off and tossing it onto my chair. We stayed there like that for a while, me standing and watching him while trying to figure out what to say and him just staring back at me with that playful grin of his and those twinkling eyes.

Looking down, I coughed awkwardly, placing my hand on my hip.

"I guess… uh. Good night?"

I blushed and scratched the back of my head as I cursed myself at my lack of rhetoric. What the hell else was I going to say? 'Sorry you're drunk so enjoy my bed?'

Nervously, I made my way to my roommate's bed and quietly slipped in, rolling over to the side to ignore Riku's amused gaze. He knew I was uneasy falling asleep with him in the room.

There was a rustle of my sheets and my door clicked open. Rolling over to my side, I peered up at Riku, standing at the now open door with his pack of cigarettes and lighter in his hand.

"I'm gonna go smoke for a bit, I'll be back."

He kept staring at me for that moment with a blank guarded expression. Though I really knew what he was thinking, I tried to shut it off of my mind as I dumbly nodded and covered my face with the blanket.

Hiding in the warm darkness of the comforter, I heard Riku cough, sniff tiredly, and then leaving my room with a jingle of my keys and a click of the door. I tried to ignore the lukewarm heated gaze he had given me deep within the hidden recesses of his eyes. Maybe he was so drunk and thinking about something else, forgetting that he was even talking to me.

"Yeah, that was it," I muttered, rolling over to my back and looking up at the ceiling. I never noticed that there were a small collection of glow-in-the dark stars that littered that side of the room.

Closing my eyes, I set my mind to falling asleep. If I did then I could simply sleep through this awkward night and maybe wake up to just a note from him, apologizing for the awkwardness and coming to my room drunk. And then all of the Valentine's paraphernalia would be out of my closet and everything would go back to the playful remarks and casually seeing each other like before.

Then again, thoughts of Kairi came to my mind. I know, it's a little weird to be thinking of your best friend while you're worrying about your hot, sexy, drunk friend that has full passage in and out of your room, with no roommate in sight. However, I knew that, if she was there at that exact moment, then she would be cursing at me, telling me that I should just take a shot with him, just to see if anything could happen.

A few minutes later, the clinking of the keys and the turn of the door knob brought me back to my senses. I was supposed to be asleep, _well_ asleep with all of the time I spent laying under the covers and fretting.

Quickly, I closed my eyes and feigned sleep. At the very least, I knew that I should at least try to fake it so that it wouldn't be as awkward. Or else it would seem that I was sitting up worrying about if he was going to come back, which, in some respects I was.

The door closed and he put my keys onto my desk table, along with the plop of his cigarette pack and his white gold lighter. I could even hear his breath coming out in deep exhalations as he walked over towards me.

'What the hell is he doing? Just go to bed already,' I screamed in my head, trying not to scrunch my eyes or flinch in any way.

He stood over me for a few seconds, as if judging if I was seriously asleep. My breathing was shaky, in slow shallow breaths, trying to mimic as if I was having a light nightmare. For that moment I was, feeling like the child hiding in the bed while the boogeyman crept out from the closet. The smell of smoke and alcohol on his breath mixed into some kind of raw kind of smelling salt-like vapor. I was hardly able to keep myself asleep.

Then he sat down next to me, and, unable to keep my anxious eyes at bay, I opened them. The room was dark, only the dull bluish-white of the street lamp outside illuminating his hair. His foggy eyes peered down at me, hazy from drinking and from fatigue. The focus in his gaze, as cliché as it may be, made my heart beat so fast that I could have sworn that I was going to pass out and _truly_ be asleep.

Well, in some sense of it.

Somehow, I slowly and hesitantly sat up, never averting my eyes from our intense stare down. My forehead brushed against his cheek as I settled myself in a half-seating position. His eyes crackled with that intense energy, breaking bit by bit through that fog of intoxication as he moved closer, placing his hand to the other side of me.

Without hesitation, I closed my eyes and allowed him to kiss me, his lips smooth against my own. It was slow and yet so short, as if he were a swimmer testing the water before a graceful swan dive into the depths of whatever this could have been. I couldn't help but feel impatient, pressing my lips against his in a more forceful manner.

We stayed like that, kissing each other back and forth like a twisted kind of tennis match, noses brushing every so often when they would get in the way. His mouth had a dizzying taste and my hands were more than eager to trace along his soft arms, my rough fingers brushing against his smooth skin.

He broke away for a moment, his lidded eyes absent of the playful glitter that always sparkled at me with mischief. However, I didn't care at that moment, more hungry for his kisses and wanting too much for myself to handle.

I tried kiss him again but he pulled away. His eyebrows were focused as he looked away, suddenly seeming incredibly sober.

Standing up with a slight creak from the mattress, he looked at me awkwardly and bit at the bottom of his lip, as if he were trying to see if he was actually in a dream or really there at that moment.

"I better go to bed," was all he said in a clear and precise manner, like he would forget the words if he spoke faster.

I watched him in speechless disappointment as he made his way across the room and silently slunk into my bed without another word. The entire time of watching his back rise and fall in slow conscious breaths, my mind battled in trying to understand what had just happened. What was that? We were kissing and then he just stopped in the middle of it all.

Laying back with a huff, I ran my hands over my face. I might as well try to get to sleep and just figure everything out in the morning.

"G'night," I said, not really understanding what was going on. However, in many respects, I was thankful that we stopped right there. It would have been something else if my roommate came back to see us both asleep in his bed.

When I woke up the next morning he had already left, his things empty from my closet and my bed remade in an almost sickeningly perfect way. Atop of my desk he left a note, scribed on the back of one of my essays. But I decided to hold off being annoyed as I read it.

"Sorry about tearing into your room drunk as hell, wasn't a really good idea on my part. I cleaned up after myself and I guess I'll see you around or something like that. And forget anything that I did last night. Hope you had a fan-fucking-tastic V-day by the way. Riku."

'Yeah,' I thought, dropping the page and opening up my computer to print out another essay. 'It was great until you said that it was nothing.'

Again, Valentine's Day sucked.

--

A/N: Oh I'm so freaking tired! I can't believe how late this chapter is but what the heck, at least it's done right? That's all a reader could ask for, at least me when I read other people's fics. Haha! Anyway, I wanted to at least leave a little bit of a treat at the end of this chapter since everyone has been waiting so patiently for it. Though I feel a bit sad that every kiss that Riku and Sora's had has been when one of them is drunk, if not both. On another note, there's a bit more insight on Roxas, which is nice since I really enjoy writing his story. I can't wait to write the really juicy stuff about him next chapter. It'll be great. Well, please review; that would be nice. Until the next chapter!


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